Dec
31
2009

How do you deal with the negative comments?

Wendy and I got a really good email yesterday, and we spent some time this morning writing up an answer for our FAQ section. (We let the kids sleep in this morning because they’re staying up till midnight tonight!) Here is the question (edited slightly):

We have four children and when we are asked if we “plan” to have more and I give some kind of general answer like “I would love to” or “I am open to it.” We get many comments like jokes or even people shaking their finger at us, shaming us. It can be very difficult. How do you handle it?

Short answer? We ignore them. But we have a lot to say on this, so we created a new FAQ on it. Read it here.

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

  • http://tami.vox.com Tami

    Wow, I feel like I could have written that question! How very timely. Thanks for taking the time to openly respond.

  • fionajean

    I myself wanted to have a big family,unfortunly I had landed into emtional verbal absusive relationship having 2 kids emergency hystorectomy and divorced lead me to the lord I will always have abit of brokenness of not having a big family.But find such a joy to know where others can pick up where I could not.Since I have let the Lord lead me convict me 2 1/2 years later I married childhood sweatheart and have been happier ever since I don’t under any circumstance feel divorce is a reason to end marriage,unless adultry. But the Lord was willing to forgive so others should as well(snippy comments)Jesus did say when it came to adultry the spouce continues to act this way the other should be let go.He will provide and did with me .I can shout out praises to the lord on that and large families

    May the Lord our Saviour
    guide you, protect you ,care for you ,Bless you and your Always and forever more

  • Fabienne

    Mother of 9 children, birth envisaged in June 2010

    Sorry for my english.

    I answer according to the degree intimacy that I have with the people.
    For the foreigners, I answer that it is a question which looks at only our couple.

    It happens that of simple passer by the question poses. Here it is:
    – you hope to have more others?
    -It is for when the next one?

    The last time where I crossed a lady which posed the question, I answered that looked at only my husband and me.
    -“Oh yes of course” answered me it.

    According to the situation, I answer myself consequently question: and you, when ridges you a child? That often made reflect…

    60 years ago, this question did not arise and would have been quite as indiscreet. Because it touches with the relation close friends between husband and to dare to question an unknown couple on top makes proof a boldness badly placed.

    Now I think that this curiosity is often due to the rare large families. As opposed to what the Bible said, that the children are a reward, those are seen like burdens beyond the second, to see third. We had often congratulations for our big family. But also of the malicious glances, the désobligeants comments (never opposite on the other hand).

    In France, it is use to say that the workmen make much children to become rich thanks to the family benefits. I answer whereas if that makes so rich financially, has why there it if little? or:
    – ” Dispatch you to put to you then at work! ” OR, that the rich can allow it them!

    I n’ do not like that one raises this issue of fact to me because generally, the goal is not to be delighted that a new addition with the hearth but to go to slander then on the family.
    The answer will depend entirely on which poses it.

  • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris & Wendy

    Fabienne, we received your family’s Christmas card. It was the talk of our New Year’s Eve party: “Look, someone sent us a beautiful handmade card from France!” We are honored to hear from a family following in the conviction to have more children in a country with such low birthrate. Thank you for posting!

  • http://thecasoncrew.blogspot.com/ Christi Cason

    Hi,
    From a Mother to 15 with #16 due 9-2-2010.
    After dealing with them for so many years, I just expect them and let them roll off my back like water on a ducks back. I don’t explain myself anymore, I just smile and say something nice back and forget it. Maybe I have gotten thick skinned, who knows, remember how blessed you feel and how happy you are and focus on love and it will squash everything else out!
    Christi Mommy to 15, #16 due 9-2-2010

  • Casey

    Hi Jeubs,

    I’ve been reading news articles lately to keep up with the Duggar family who have recently given birth to their 19th child, albeit 8 weeks premature.

    What is alarming in reading the articles is the collection of comments that gather at the bottom. I’ve never seen such hatred and vitriol, and directed at the Duggar family! They are like the sweetest most innocent family in the world.

    I know they deal with these attacks as well as you guys, but it’s a wake up call to a lot of us Christians that even the coolest people around will get persecuted for their faith, just because of that.

    Thanks for showing us how to handle persecution.

    God bless