Fear of Parenting

Loyal to the classic, solving the mysteries mean overcoming fear more than scientific ignorance.Wendy and I saw Sherlock Holmes. An interesting theme wove throughout: fear clouds our thinking, fear allows evil to triumph, and fear justifies the most hideous behaviors. Of course, Sherlock overcomes his fears (wincing just a little) and solves the mystery in the end. The diabolical plot of the bad guys almost succeeded, solely because of how fearful people could become.

We constantly come up against fear when speaking with couples and their decision to have children, or not to have them. Though God is pounding on their hearts to have another child–or even their first one–they come up with all sorts of reasons not to. All of the reasons are based in fear: fear of poverty, fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of vulnerability and even love.

Parenthood is one of the greatest adventures in life, and couples rob themselves of the experience because of fear. The fear sometimes appears rational, as couples (typically the liberal, yuppie types) cite some college professor’s dissertation on why not to have children. They appear to cling to “reason.” Dig a little deeper, and their reasons are still based on fear. Overpopulation, harm to the environment, economic instability–all doom-and-gloom intellectual dispositions. These couples actually believe they are doing the world a favor by not having children, or at least having just one or two.

With a little bit of research and thought, we find these “reasons” to be extremely unreasonable. They’re laughable, really. While some look at our life with 15 children as “crazy,” it is difficult for us to look the DINK (double-income, no-kid) advocate in the eye without busting out laughing at their ridiculous ideas. Here are a few.

  • The world is overpopulated already.
  • Human beings harm the environment.
  • The economy cannot bear a growing population.

These are the popular mindsets, and our educational system constantly drills these fears into our society. This is one of the biggest reasons we choose to home school. I taught as a public school teacher from 1993 to 2000, and I saw little more than worldview indoctrination in many classrooms. It appears that little has changed since then. A relative (bless her heart) bought my children all sorts of popular magazines for our children. The old classics, like Ranger Rick, could barely turn a page without ranting about the evils of CO2 or global warming. The magazines would come in the mail and very quickly get discarded into the trash.

Fear, fear, fear. No wonder parents don’t want to bring children into this falling, crumbling world? Even professing Christians fall for this nonsense. I’ve been in Bible studies with God-fearing men whose knees shake at the prospect of having children. “Why?” I ask them, and they answer some fear-based gibberish about the end of the world coming soon. More fear, and from the very people who should be fearless!

There are signs this ignorant tide is turning. Yesterday’s issue of Blue Book Report, the online news site that posts daily articles on the debate topic of environmental policy, posted an article about Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski’s attempt to block the EPA’s regulation of CO2. It is insane to think that an unelected executive department of government is attempting to regulate the very gas human beings exhale. In America, no less. What gives them such unlimited power? Fear of climate change, global warming, environmental damage. Never mind the scientific challenges to such fuzzy claims, just think of Al Gore’s claims of world devastation (be afraid!) and you will see the reasoning behind such political power.

Hollywood’s traditional Sherlock Holmes, the one with pipe in mouth and intellectual correction of Watson, looked to science as the solution for everything. This isn’t entirely true with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s creation. Fear is the reason for crime’s success, for the prevalence of frenzy and falsehood, in the true Sherlock Holmes. In the recent rendition, Hollywood gets it right this time.

“The temptation to form premature theories upon insufficient data is the bane of our profession.”

~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Valley of Fear

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

  • Sarah M. in MI

    We’ve run into that more lately, as we’re now “older parents” and people are expressing concern that maybe we should do something to stop having kids. [#8 arrived on 1/1/10! :)]

    Dh and I both believe: “Who knows what God may have in store for us!”

    And on the ecological front — have you seen today’s news: http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-science/20100120/SCI.UN.Climate.Change/

    Thanks, as always, for your thoughts!

    Sarah, wife to John, mom to the Great Eight.

  • Marcy SMith

    Thank you for this post. I have been dealing with Fear in my husband for years now about this very topic. To old, two diabetic children already, not enought money, so on so on. But i never thougth of my own fears. They are still there. Just a eye opener and another pray reguest.
    Thank You again,

  • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris & Wendy

    Interesting article, Sarah. Thanks for posting the link. Press is leaking out the truth, finally.

  • http://angela_d@6086charter.net Angela Beltan

    I have seven and by the grace of god we have always been able to keep them fed and clothed. Alot is possible with out the name brand and laits.

  • http://www.creatingtreasures.blogspot.com tereza crump aka MyTreasuredCreations

    Well said!

    The other day I was meditating about having children (I will be delivering #4 in 5 weeks or so) and how most people around me are amazed at my “courage” to have children. I was thinking about how can I cut off this source of blessing? Every time I have been obedient to what God has asked me to do I have only been blessed. Whenever I tried my own way to things the outcome were disastrous.

    The only way to counter fear is to believe what the Word of God says and that is what I choose to do. Let the people think we are crazy, irresponsible or courageous, I just want to be faithful and trust and believe in Jesus.

    I always tell myself: “Now which one of your children would you put back?” The answer is always none. How dreadful would it be to be missing out on another of God’s blessing!!!

    Be blessed today, :)

  • Heather

    I am not afraid of overpopulation or global warming or the economy, these days I AM afraid of where our government is taking this country. I am afraid of having my parental rights taken away. I read about families in other countries that have their children taken away because they homeschool. I am afraid of the government thinking they know what’s best for my child, and because we are different we must be wrong!
    I do consider myself “quiverfull” but to be honest what I have read lately does make my pause and think.

  • http://jeubfamily.com Wendy

    1 Peter 5:6 says “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers in the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ after you have suffered a little while will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen.”

    1 Peter 3:13
    “Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened’ but in your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”

    Luke 16:13
    “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”

    12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And,
    “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
    what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”
    19So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

    Finally you should be “Afraid” of what the government is doing right now, but do not let that paralyze you, let it spring you into action. Call your elected officials and tell them what you think about the decisions that they are making.

    Bless your heart,
    Wendy Jeub Psalm 67

  • http://bringingtheheartbackhome.blogspot.com/2010/01/one-year-ago.html#comments Tammie

    Thank you for this blog. We shared the exact same thoughts and chose to pull our oldest children out of school for the very same reasons.

    We need God back in peoples hearts first and foremost.