Our view of having children is not too complicated: Children are blessings. The logic follows: therefore, welcome them. A fairly common misunderstanding is how we view infertility, some grow angry with us because (they think) we condemn it. They couldn’t be more wrong.
We love children, but we don’t ever condemn those who aren’t able to conceive.
We made a comment in a blog post Judgment Hurts, but Is It Persecution? about those who do not subscribe to our convictions. Here’s exactly what we said:
“You know what would be a true downer? Living with a house empty of blessings, knowing full well that God had been calling us to something bigger, something better than the status quo.”
An anonymous poster commented on this statement. Here’s what was posted:
Imagine how a person struggling with infertility would feel if they read that statement ? Words and actions are powerful as you know. I know you are a very God fearing family, but sometimes your words do not come across that way. Your calling is perhaps a large family which God has provided you. Not everyone has to make your choice or in many cases can make your choice.
This isn’t the first time we’ve heard this response to our convictions. It seems to be a fairly common reaction. A relative was concerned about the challenges we make to parents in our upcoming book. “Consider those who are barren,” he said. “I’d hate for them to think they are being judged.”
Do we sound that heartless? Our mission is simple: Love children because they are blessings. We encourage couples to have children, but in our minds, that’s not anywhere close to judging those who are physically unable.
Perhaps this is the kicker: We sometime focus is on those 20-somethings who voluntarily embrace infertility, especially when they try to say they are making a wise, responsible choice. Yep, we challenge that premise head on. But don’t mix these messages. If anything, those who voluntarily embrace infertility turn the stomachs of others who are not able to have children, especially when they desperately desire so.
We challenge the status quo, but we don’t condemn those in it. Good grief, we’re just as wrapped up in the world as you are, living in the world but not of it, trying our best to decipher truth from falsity. We’re confident we’ve got this one right: Children are blessings. So therefore, view them as blessings. Consider loving another one. They will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.