We’ve witnessed some pretty ugly marriage relationships, some to have split up altogether. To everyone with range, it’s devastating. Reflecting on these relationships, we can pin-point a common trend in each marriage that ended in divorce: respect.
Respect is a tough one to accept. Seems too simplistic. When we press this as the problem, we often get these kinds of responses:
- “But you don’t know how bad of a husband he is. Let me tell you about some of the crummy things he does…”
- “But she’s a witch. I can’t do a thing without her slamming on me. Let me tell you…”
And the vile stories throw up all over us. After they vent a bit, we typically come back with, “See? You don’t respect your spouse.”
Still sounds too simplistic? Okay, we admit, it is. Turmoil in marriage is complex, but nothing is too tumulus that can’t be overcome. We offer this simple remedy: Expect the best in your spouse.
This starts with holding your tongue about how bad he/she is. Instead of focusing on the bad, focus on the good. If he/she is prone to an annoying habit and won’t change, choose to live with it.
We’ve applied this principle in our marriage, and we’ve seen great resolution from it. You may accuse us of being too simplistic, and perhaps we are, but it is this simple anecdote to tense times that have helped make our marriage awesome.
We’re going to post on some specifics later, but we first want to hear from you. Are we being too simplistic? Is your spouse empowered or hindered by you? Are you empowered or hindered yourself?