This article really upset people, but was cool truth for most others. Wendy and I are quite convinced that wives who recognize how harmful they can be to their man — and they work to overcome that — are wives who can have wonderful marriages.
“If you’ve spent any time around horses, you know a stallion can be a major problem. They’re strong, very strong, and they’ve got a mind of their own. Stallions typically don’t like to be bridled, and they can get downright aggressive—especially if there are mares around. A stallion is hard to tame. If you want a safer, quieter animal, there’s an easy solution: castrate him. A gelding is much more compliant. You can lead him around by the nose; he’ll do what he’s told without putting up a fuss. There’s only one problem: Geldings don’t give life. They can’t come through for you the way a stallion can. A stallion is dangerous all right, but if you want the life he offers, you have to have the danger too. They go together.” —John Eldredge, Wild at Heart “
This quote is rich. I’ll put aside the obvious biological meaning. When it comes to marriage, this meaning is relationally deep.
I’ve had friends whose wives belittle them. There is little more emasculating to a dad than his children’s mother berating him. I remember one friend whose wife complained of how dopey, lazy, withdrawn he was. At work he was a dynamo! But almost prophetically, at home he was…
Just like the gelding. The behavior these women complain of their husbands is the very behavior their husbands display. They have castrated their stallions, and the men in their lives are half the men they could be.
C.S. Lewis wrote in Abolition of Man, “We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”
Wendy is an awesome example of encouragement and support. I’m convinced that I am thrice the man I would be on my own. Her help and support never ends, always a cheerleader, forever an encourager.
I wish all my friends had supportive wives. That’s one of the messages Wendy continues to bring home to her friends, and she does it well.