Sep
17
2011

Bible Verses for the Blessing of Children

This article has been viewed nearly 10,000 times and shared on Facebook over 100. I hope it blesses you as much the Word of God has blessed us. Keep passing it around!


Little babies

What the Jeubs say about having children is one thing. We write, we blog, we talk with countless couples about the blessings of children. We can’t emphasize enough: children are a true blessing to you, your family, the world. Why deny the blessing?

Cultural persuasions are a dime a dozen. Our book Love Another Child addresses common ones like overpopulation, carbon footprints, fear of child labor, and so on. It doesn’t surprise us when a non-Christian is skeptical of our beliefs. That’s cool, we can still be friends. We’ll have more children than you, and we’re okay with that if you are.

What is puzzling is when Christians seem to think children are not blessings. That one leaves us scratching our heads.

No doubt about it, children are blessings, especially throughout Scripture. Even in unwanted situations, pregnancy and the gift of children are welcomed. We know many people who ascribe to a few children, have their one or two (or none at all), then jump on birth control. Maybe “get fixed.” Just like everybody else. And life goes on.

If you are a Bible-believing Christian who thinks this way, we would like to press you a little bit with some verses. There are many more than those below, but we came up with these without much trouble.

Consider this a friendly press, not a condemning one. Scripture is God’s loving instruction, and reading it changes hearts. The verses below should be accompanied with honest prayer and discussion with your spouse. We hope this list finds you willing to open your heart to the blessing of another child.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

—Psalm 127:3-5

This is what the LORD says— he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.

—Isaiah 44:2

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

—Psalm 139:13-16

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.

—John 16:21

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

—Matthew 18:1-3

All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children’s peace.

—Isaiah 54:13

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

—James 1:17
(Indirectly related to children)

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

—Matthew 18:10

When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

—Mark 10:14

Impress [the Word of God] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

—Deuteronomy 6:7

You will be blessed more than any other people; none of your men or women will be childless, nor any of your livestock without young.

—Deuteronomy 7:14

Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

—Proverbs 17:6

Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children’s children.

—Psalm 128:1-6

Look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth. When I called him he was but one, and I blessed him and made him many.

—Isaiah 51:2

Here am I, and the children the LORD has given me. We are signs and symbols in Israel from the LORD Almighty, who dwells on Mount Zion.

—Isaiah 8:18

So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

—1 Timothy 5:14

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth.

—Genesis 9:1

Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, 26 and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.

—Exodus 23:25-26

Obed-Edom also had sons: Shemaiah the firstborn, Jehozabad the second, Joah the third, Sacar the fourth, Nethanel the fifth, Ammiel the sixth, Issachar the seventh and Peullethai the eighth. For God had blessed Obed-Edom.
(Another translation: “God had indeed blessed him.”)

—1 Chronicles 26:4-5

Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked. Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.”

—Genesis 33:5

And God said to him, “I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body.

—Genesis 35:11

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

—Genesis 1:28

Women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

—1 Timothy 2:15

The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.

—Deuteronomy 28:4

For this is what the LORD says—he who created the heavens, he is God; he who fashioned and made the earth, he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty, but formed it to be inhabited…

—Isaiah 45:18

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

—Isaiah 43:5

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado, with 14 of their 16 children. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

    Amen and amen!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/albauman1 Amy Leichleiter Bauman

      i have a firm belief that the God who opened and closed the womb back in the day is still that same God who can and does open and close the womb today and he really doesn’t need our help to do so. :) that has giving me a lot of strength and courage to let God be God and do his thing and bless us however he sees fit. i also thinnk it is neet that whenever God was blessing someone the first blessing was always over the womb whether it be of the people or their livestock and the same was true of when he cursed or punished the first to go was also the womb. now this in know way means that every childless couple is cursed, i do not mean that at all! i know some very blessed childless by birth couples.  i just think it points to His perfect timing and His perfect plan and we can choose to accept or deny that gift and He will love us either way but i for one definately do NOT want to miss out on that blessing and definately would not be able to choose which of our children i could do without. i love my life and look forward to each blessing even in the crazy hard times. God is good!

  • Jessica

    Thank you!

  • http://www.torishomefront.blogspot.com Tori

    I really appreciate this post, Chris and Wendy.  After a life-threatening situation last time around, and 4 boys, my dh and I decided it was the pill for us…we were done.  Just recently we felt led to stop the chemical barrage of my body and leave the question up to God.  I don’t know if we’ll have more kids or not; some days the thought scares me, and some days I long for a new little one.  LOL  I guess that’s why it’s a good idea that I’m not in charge anymore!  It’s very freeing to be able to look forward to whatever future God has for us, and trust that He will see us though it, no matter what.

    Great post! 
    PS – I don’t know if it’s like this for everyone in my situation, but I feel TONS healthier w/o the constant drugs in my body, and several health issues have improved/disappeared.  Glory to God!

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      You are very encouraging, Tori! Wendy and I were right where you were several years ago. Overcoming the fear was a big deal, but we have absolutely no regrets. God bless you!

    • http://www.theologicalthoughts.com Michael

      Amen. And glad to hear you got off the pill, as it is a known abortifacient.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

         Im not fond of chemicals but there is no link between miscarriages and birth control. While it shouldn’t be taken with a confirmed pregnancy,  long term usage does not cause them. Some studies indicate long-term usage increases the risk of miscarriage but other research says it helps the preservation of eggs. Miscarriages can happen for numerous reasons without the use of contraception.

        • Loa_mom

          Unfortunately, one of the jobs of the pill is to thin the uterine lining so that if an egg is fertilized (which can sometimes happen) it can’t implant. For those who believe that life begins at conception, as I do and many other Christians do, this means a life (fertilized egg) is unable to develop, hence it is an abortifacient. I can’t get the link to work, but google “how does the pill work” and check a reliable site for details.

    • PassionateParents

      I am glad you and your husband are seeking God’s leading in this!  I just thought I would comment though since your comment sounds like “the pill” is the only birth control option you are aware of?  Do you know that there are forms of birth control that are 100% safe for a developing baby(should the Lord bless you when you weren’t expecting it)?  Children are a precious blessing of the Lord that we are called to care wisely for -and there are methods that have been used throughout history(womanly cycle cues, barriers, etc.) to allow couples to work with God in having the family He desires for them to have without risk to an unknown pregnancy.  We personally have 4 children 4yrs and younger and do use some birth control between babes since my cycles return VERY early(yes, I nurse exclusively for 6mo and continue for a year plus but it doesn’t stop my cycles) and we want to be wise with the blessings God has already given us while we await his timing for more -sometimes he has given us more via “a surprise” and other times he has moved our hearts that it was time to try for a child even though we were a bit nervous.  There is more than one way(no birth control of any kind) to allow God to have control of your family size(seeking to walk in unity with Him through prayer, Bible study and open hearts etc.).  The real issue here is that state of our hearts before God, not if we use birth control or not.  Birth control can be selfish, but it can also be responsible.  Don’t feel condemned if you and your husband aren’t sure if it’s time for more -and know there are other options out there that can help you safely await the Lord’s timing.  (So thankful that we don’t always have to experience the death of a child to know it wasn’t God’s timing as many throughout history have had to do!)

  • Katie

    Excellent job, and I can think of a few more I have come across but do not remember where it is in the Bible.  One called children “blessings of the breast and womb” which is very true in more ways than one, as bearing and nursing children can greatly decrease the risk of breast cancer – a risk that seems to be rising all the time and is now 1 in 7!!

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      Wendy spends a good deal of time in an entire chapter titled “Fear of Child Delivery” in our book. It is surprising how often the “risks” are from unnatural interventions.

      • CJJacobs

        Many risks are unavoidable, though. Everyone’s situation is different. Again, God will lay on your heart how many children He feels you should have. If you feel God telling you to stop, that you can’t take of anymore, you should listen to that feeling.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

        wo kinds of fears rational and phobias. Rational fear keeps you from crossing the road in oncoming traffic.  Maybe we are afraid of getting hurt when we use common sense and don’t cross the street.  So fear can be a blessing in some cases. the same goes for child birth. Most mothers want to see the other kids grow up.

  • DougM

    I think we all can agree that prayer, and consultation with one’s spouse, is the best way to determine God’s will for each family. There really is no clearcut answer for every family. Some people may stop at one, others at 12. It is between them and God.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

    You need to come down from your high and mighty horse  . Jesus had no kids.The author of Psalms is hardly an example.  I don’t believe I am worthless because I have no kids. The God I know loves all people regardless of choices they make. Not all fit to be parents are meant to be. Would you tell Casey Anthony kids are blessings? If kids are blessings that means even when they grow up to be bad. When does life stop being valuable? Antiques increase in value the older they are  so the same should go for people.

    • Anonymous

      All children and all parents were meant to be, since God foreordained everything that comes to pass. 

      Ephesians Chapter 1
      11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

    • Jennifer Mull

      Amanda, you made some interesting comments here…. <<<>> hmmm…. no, but He did say that we could become “children of God”. God the Father –our Heavenly Father– has a LOT of kids. 
       
      You said: <<>>>
      Of course not! Your worth comes from the One who made you, not from anything you do or don’t do. Nothing can change your worth, even if you think someone else is threatening it… even if you think less of yourself… HE sees you as precious in His sight.
       
      You said: <<<>> This is true! He does love all people regardless of the choices they make. However, He does NOT love all choices! What He really loves is when He can bless us through making the choices that honor Him!
       
      You said: <<<>>> I think you are saying that there are some who would make good parents, however, they haven’t been blessed with children.  Sadly, this is also true. We live in a fallen world and that means that every human being on earth will experience some form of heartbreak…. for some, this will be through childlessness. It is hard to understand. But there are ways for God to be glorified in it… whether through a life that has been freed up for service to God and others, or through a the choice of making the sacrifices needed to adopt children in need of a family.
       
      You said: <<<>>> Absolutely. I’m not sure what you meant here, but not only would I say that her child was a blessing, but she was as well… because, again, her value doesn’t come from what she does or doesn’t do. A child’s value doesn’t come from whether that child was planned and hoped for or from an unwanted pregnancy…. The child’s value doesn’t come from how it’s parents treat the child, whether lovingly or in abuse. I will answer your next question here, too…. a child’s value comes from God alone and NEVER ceases!
       
      You are right in saying that if a child is a blessing, so is someone older, but no…a person does not increase in value like an antique…… it doesn’t matter how old a person is… an older person cannot be more valuable than a child…. nor can a child be more valuable than an older person. EACH  individual life is PRECIOUS in God’s sight. You, Amanda, are precious in God’s sight! Mr. Jeub did not say otherwise…. in fact, all the scripture he listed in his post says that very thing ….. about you…. me…. everyone…..

    • Jennifer Mull

      Amanda, you made some interesting comments here…. You said:  “Jesus had no kids.”    hmmm…. no, but He did say that we could become “children of God”. God the Father –our Heavenly Father– has a LOT of kids. 
       
      You said: “I don’t believe I am worthless because I have no kids.”
      Of course not! Your worth comes from the One who made you, not from anything you do or don’t do. Nothing can change your worth, even if you think someone else is threatening it… even if you think less of yourself… HE sees you as precious in His sight.
       
      You said: ” The God I know loves all people regardless of the choices they make.” This is true! He does love all people regardless of the choices they make. However, He does NOT love all choices! What He really loves is when He can bless us through making the choices that honor Him!
       
      You said: ” Not all fit to be parents are meant to be…” I think you are saying that there are some who would make good parents, however, they haven’t been blessed with children.  Sadly, this is also true. We live in a fallen world and that means that every human being on earth will experience some form of heartbreak…. for some, this will be through childlessness. It is hard to understand. But there are ways for God to be glorified in it… whether through a life that has been freed up for service to God and others, or through a the choice of making the sacrifices needed to adopt children in need of a family.
       
      You said: “Would you tell Casey Anthony kids are a blessing?”  Absolutely. I’m not sure what you meant here, but not only would I say that her child was a blessing, but she was as well… because, again, her value doesn’t come from what she does or doesn’t do. A child’s value doesn’t come from whether that child was planned and hoped for or from an unwanted pregnancy…. The child’s value doesn’t come from how it’s parents treat the child, whether lovingly or in abuse. I will answer your next question here, too…. a child’s value comes from God alone and NEVER ceases!
       
      You are right in saying that if a child is a blessing, so is someone older, but no…a person does not increase in value like an antique…… it doesn’t matter how old a person is… an older person cannot be more valuable than a child…. nor can a child be more valuable than an older person. EACH  individual life is PRECIOUS in God’s sight.

      You, Amanda, are precious in God’s sight! Mr. Jeub did not say otherwise…. in fact, all the scripture he listed in his post says that very thing ….. about you…. me…. everyone…..

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

         My entire resistance doe not revolve on reproducing.  Maybe someone should have told Anthony they were blessings and if she cant take care of them and considers them such, get on some good bc until you can care for them.  Maybe the child would still be living and be placed in a loving home. then again Andrea Yates thought they were blessings. In her twisted mind, obviously they weren’t turning out to be the blessings she thought they should be which is the danger of this belief Children and even marriage isn’t  a blessing unless you want them for the right reasons. What is  a usual response if we dont want something? We throw it away. If someone doesn’t want a child, it makes life harder on the child.

    • Debtfreegroceryhound

      Yes I would tell her that children and her child was a blessing. She made her choices not God. God gave her a blessing and she made whatever decisions she made not him. 

  • http://twitter.com/3kds_n_a_hdache Cassie Petty

    Most of these seem to be about children but not really about having many of them. Children are blessings. I believe that with all my heart but if I cannot take care of them, then what? They become burdens through no fault of their own. If you want to have lots of children that’s fine but I don’t like my beliefs to be questioned because I choose to only have the number of children I can afford. And we do not live beyond our means or have the desire for material things; we simply cannot afford to feed any more mouths.

    • Leanncraigo

      Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV)
       5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart 
         and lean not on your own understanding; 
      6 in all your ways submit to him, 
         and he will make your paths straight.Sometimes it may not make sense to us but, its what HE wants…to trust HIM so much we step out of our comfort zone and have faith.Do Not Worry25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifeb?28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.God is our provider and he will not let his children go hungry or unclothed. Worrying that may happen could keep you from a blessing you never knew you could have. 

    • Jennifer Mull

      Those of us who have had larger families want to be responsible too. It is like when I talk to someone with 2 children, and they tell me how hard it is and that they can’t afford anymore…. and I say to them, “I do understand…. I have been where you are, but you have not been where I am…. ” It is hard to explain the different point of view here…..

      It is hard for those of us who have seen how God blesses and provides to really explain it in a way that makes sense to someone who wants to be able to “afford” a certain amount of children. On paper, it truly makes no sense that I have 8 children …. and truthfully, there was only one pregnancy that we entered into feeling like we could “afford” to have that child…. it was the 3rd child… LOL!

      It may seem irresponsible, but our ways are not God’s ways…. it is His job to be Provider, not ours, and those of us with larger families have seen this principle in action so many times. He blesses! He cares for us in amazing ways!

      For me, personally,  to say, I can’t afford a child would be like saying God can’t provide. Don’t get me wrong, we have struggled at times, and I think what most people are afraid of is NOT that they can’t “afford” a child…. most people are afraid that they may have to struggle…. and they seek to avoid it…. who can blame them?

      I don’t want to struggle either… but struggle drives us to our knees and causes us to look up to our Heavenly Father…. I don’t judge another person for not wanting to struggle or not wanting their children to struggle….. but I don’t want those fears to drive MY choices. Even now, I struggle with the idea of having more children, for various reasons. So…. I continue to pray and trust and take one day at a time.

      • http://twitter.com/3kds_n_a_hdache Cassie Petty

        There are other reasons we won’t be having more children than just not being able to afford more. 

        I guess I think that if people don’t feel led to have children then they shouldn’t. I don’t think that it’s necessarily always God’s will for all people to have children or have a certain number of children. I am not talking about fear; I’m talking about knowing that having children is not what a person is called to do. I think that some people are called to have many children and some are not for whatever reason. I don’t think that birth control or taking control of our reproductive health is necessarily going against God’s will. I think that God gives us free will and leads us to follow him. 

        I think some people who believe in being “quiverful” feel that others should be also and people who aren’t look down on those that are. We all need to take a step back and leave the judgment to God.

        This subject is too big to cover on blog comments.   

        • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

          “This subject is too big to cover on blog comments.”

          I agree. Someone should write a book on it! (heh)

          • http://twitter.com/3kds_n_a_hdache Cassie Petty

            That would be great except it won’t allow for a dialogue about the subject-instead it would be one point of view.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

              yes, I think the book would be more interesting with multiple Christian points of view. when I was younger I had wanted to have a lot of children, a really large family, but this is not my husband’s desire and I ultimately have to submit to that. And to God ultimately. When God (finally) changed my husband’s heart to want more children, then I lost that next child so it seemed like it was not God’s will or timing. God knows what is best for each of us. No matter what, He is our Lord. I have given Him my desire for more kids, and it is up to Him. Whether we have many kids or only a few, we must all trust God in it with all our hearts, and be thankful, with many, or with few, to be content. God is the desire of our hearts and our only salvation. We cannot be saved through childbearing, and if someone says that, they are taking that verse out of its context– IF THEY CONTINUE WITH FAITH is the next part (and also see the surrounding verses). I do believe children are God’s plan in marriage and to be an expected part and reason for marriage, unless He has made someone childless for a season or a time. That is painful and God loves us all the same. Children are a gift from God, but our faith is what saves us. If we trust anything other than His perfect sacrifice and gift of grace to us in Christ, we are lost. Only the Savior can save. Not by having many children, or any worthy goal– all of us need His righteousness and direction in our lives. Some of these things are disputable matters, such as what we eat or drink or whatever we do, how many children we have. The important thing is we do it unto the LORD and for His glory, and each unto the conviction in our hearts what is right. We must not do or not do something that we think is wrong. If a person thinks any form of birth control is wrong and a sin than it IS for him or her. It truly is for them if that is their conviction. But if God has given us freedom in that, and confidence in our hearts, we can keep that to ourselves just as we respect the vegetarian we thinks it wrong to eat meat. We must do what we feel in our hearts is right. He has a plan for each of us, and works for good in our lives for His glory.

        • Jennifer Mull

          “This subject is too big to cover on blog comments.”
           
          It is a broad subject, but we do the best we can. Reading a book gives us another point of view, blog comments can give us one forum for sharing some dialog.
           
          You said, “There are other reasons we won’t be having more children than just not being able to afford more.”
           
          I can appreciate that… I hope you understood that what I commented on was in response to the reason you gave in the prior post.
           
          You said, “I don’t think that it’s necessarily always God’s will for all people to have children or have a certain number of children.”
           
          I agree with this. There is no where in scripture that says that we are supposed to have a certain number of children… nor that everyone is supposed to have as many as possible, nor for every person to even have children.
           
           The thing is, if we REALLY believed this, would we need to take it into our own hands? That was the question that I had to wrestle with. I don’t believe that God calls everyone to have a large family, but I do believe He calls us to love children, to recognize the blessing they are, and to care for the orphans in this world. The world does NOT value children this way…. and often even Christian families do not portray love in this way towards children.  
           
          If I really believe that God cares and is in control…. that He calls some to have many, some to have few, and some to have no children, then, why use birth control? I have one friend who has prayed for children, yet has none… I have another who has prayed for more children, yet only has three….. and I have prayed many times for the Lord to give me what HIS heart desires, and I have eight…..
           
          I will tell you one verse that isn’t listed above, but had a huge impact on my own understanding. It is in Genesis 30, and was Jacob’s response to Rachel’s plea for a child. It comes from an infertility perspective, but it had great impact on me for the issue of birth control. Rachel said to Jacob,”Give me a child, or I’ll die!”  And his response was “Am I in the place  of God, who has kept you from having children?” If God truly is in control and opens and closes the womb, then we are taking things into our own hands, and not trusting Him to do what is best for us when we make a choice to be in control.  Can we decide and be in the place of God?
           
          I could never tell another person that they must have more children, and I don’t think that is the point of the blog post above. But, we ARE called to LOVE children, to SEE them the way God sees them…. to realize that we could NEVER overpopulate heaven! He is our provider and He is in control…. so we don’t have to be!
           
          I believe the Jeub’s call to “Love Another Child” is meant to be an encouragement to those who are afraid to extend themselves this way…. not as a judgement towards anyone….

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

            We are to love all all people just one specific age group. this is a lot of problem in the world today.  I can’t see a needy elderly person being different than a needy child.

            “It is in Genesis 30, and was Jacob’s response to Rachel’s plea for a
            child. It comes from an infertility perspective, but it had great impact
            on me for the issue of birth control. Rachel said to Jacob,”Give me a
            child, or I’ll die!”

            During those times, women were not held in high regard except for having children and being wives. Infertility was a curse. I would say the US is a more civilized country. In many ways it is more civilized but still frowns on women who don’t want children. My hope is for  world that values women for something other than fertility. Im not saying kids are burdens just that no one should be burdened to have thme.

            • Jennifer Mull

              “Im not saying kids are burdens just that no one should be burdened to have thme. ”

              Yes… you are saying just that…. if someone is burdened it is because they are burdened with a burden…..

              Some women still feel that infertility is a curse… or at least it is a negative thing in their lives…. the point of what I was saying in my post was that Jacob recognized that it was God who was in charge of the womb, not he. God is the One who gives children, not man.  That can be applied to infertility as well as allowing God to plan your family. Even with the best technology today, there is no guarantee that an infertility dr. will be successful in helping a woman get pregnant…. nor is there absolutely fool-proof birth control. We can try to be in control…. we all do… in some area of our lives… but it is God who is in control, and for those of us who recognize it, it means turning over those areas in our lives that we would rather control. But, He has grace for everyone…. and doesn’t expect everyone to be in the same place at the same time. It is a process and living out of faith…..

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

                Societyin general thinks you can’t live  a happy and fulfilling life with no kids.  Th media attention given large families propels the urge to have kids and you can’t live without it.. Even supposedly progressive nations like the The US can’t fathom anyone not getting all gushy over children. Just because someone prefers not to have something doesn’t mean they hate it.These people know in their hearts they would not make good parents. If everyone thought about this important decision, there would be a lot less trouble.  That brings back the Andrea Yates example. She was having the kids because of a religious conviction not because she wanted them.It does not make you more holy. I agree  I don’t like the tone if you choose not reproduce you aren’t holy.

              • Jennifer Mull

                Your last statement is worth more than all you have said! You are right… having children doesn’t make you more holy…..I personally don’t know a single person who thinks that the more children you have, the holier you are! But, I know a lot of people who have been hurt and made to feel that way, whether over children other topics. It is because Christianity is made up of followers who are broken and sinful.

                 Most of us who have large families  believe that our only holiness and righteousness comes from Jesus Christ, not from our family size or anything we do. He loves and values YOU just as much as anyone and He died for you and for me and everyone. No act of our own can compete nor compare.

                The lifting up of what is good about children does not mean that others who do not have them are bad. I am surprised that you say that the world says that having children is most important, because from our point of view, it is the opposite. Perhaps, that is our common ground– to realize we are both looking at this from opposite points of view.

                As a Christian, I believe we are all in need of a Savior, and it is HIS love that compels us to live our lives for Him. We are not all meant to have large families. In fact, I know the Lord is using a dear friend of mine who is single  with no kids, doing missionary work in Asia. Her calling is not greater than mine,  nor mine greater than hers. We are both striving to live out the purpose God has given us.

                I’m sorry that people sometimes make you feel like you aren’t worthy of the same holiness that we have all received in Christ. He loves you!

  • Jennifer Mull

    Amanda, you made some interesting comments here…. <<<>> hmmm…. no, but He did say that we could become “children of God”. God the Father –our Heavenly Father– has a LOT of kids. 
     
    You said: <<>>>
    Of course not! Your worth comes from the One who made you, not from anything you do or don’t do. Nothing can change your worth, even if you think someone else is threatening it… even if you think less of yourself… HE sees you as precious in His sight.
     
    You said: <<<>> This is true! He does love all people regardless of the choices they make. However, He does NOT love all choices! What He really loves is when He can bless us through making the choices that honor Him!
     
    You said: <<<>>> I think you are saying that there are some who would make good parents, however, they haven’t been blessed with children.  Sadly, this is also true. We live in a fallen world and that means that every human being on earth will experience some form of heartbreak…. for some, this will be through childlessness. It is hard to understand. But there are ways for God to be glorified in it… whether through a life that has been freed up for service to God and others, or through a the choice of making the sacrifices needed to adopt children in need of a family.
     
    You said: <<<>>> Absolutely. I’m not sure what you meant here, but not only would I say that her child was a blessing, but she was as well… because, again, her value doesn’t come from what she does or doesn’t do. A child’s value doesn’t come from whether that child was planned and hoped for or from an unwanted pregnancy…. The child’s value doesn’t come from how it’s parents treat the child, whether lovingly or in abuse. I will answer your next question here, too…. a child’s value comes from God alone and NEVER ceases!
     
    You are right in saying that if a child is a blessing, so is someone older, but no…a person does not increase in value like an antique…… it doesn’t matter how old a person is… an older person cannot be more valuable than a child…. nor can a child be more valuable than an older person. EACH  individual life is PRECIOUS in God’s sight. You, Amanda, are precious in God’s sight! Mr. Jeub did not say otherwise…. in fact, all the scripture he listed in his post says that very thing ….. about you…. me…. everyone…..

    • Jennifer Mull

      Ok…. something weird happened to my post…. not sure why it isn’t under Amanda’s reply… and it says some things weird… and left some things out…. sorry… that wasn’t me… something with the computer or internet…. I’ll try to re-post.

  • Reema

    Children are a blessing but if you can only handle 2 or 3 children, are you claiming then those parents do not consider their own children a blessing? My mother only had 2 children because that’s all she could handle. With having a physically handicapped husband and in-laws who criticized every move she made and relied on her for every little thing, working from 6am-6pm, maybe more, because we were financially struggling, plus raising two children, there’s no way she could have handled more and not give them the same love and attention. I’m fine with people having a lot of children but I seriously have problems if you make your older children help you raise your own children. Parents are there to raise your children and if you have to heavily rely on your older ones to raise them for you, while you continue to receive multiple blessings from the Lord, then that’s when I have a problem. 

    • Jennifer Mull

      Their implication is not that those who have less children are less capable. Actually most people with fewer children consider THEMSELVES as less capable… hence the decision not to have more…. those of us with larger families have been where those with less have been….. but those with less have NOT been where we are….. we can see that God gives grace for the DAY… the MOMENT…for the children we have NOW…. and when we are willing for more, He gives grace for more… we don’t have the grace for 16 if we only have 8……. or 2……. Thankfully, He gives what we need for the number we have…….

  • Joseph

    This blog is so judgmental and condescending. You can say that it isn’t meant to come off that way, but it does. I think you know it does. 

    That said, what about people in Africa or extremely poor countries where children suffer their entire lives and die a slow, painful death from starvation? Of course children are a blessing, but is it wrong if a woman has access to non-chemical methods of birth control in these situations if she can’t bear to watch another precious baby suffer and waste away? You could use the argument that the baby is with God or that the mother’s reward will be with God and all of their earthly sufferings won’t matter, but would God really want a baby to suffer and live a life where he or she knows nothing but desperation? Not everyone lives in a first-world country and can manage having 20 well-fed kids. “God always provides” would be another counter-argument. Those children die. Not everyone can afford to feed that many children or care for them if they get sick. “God provides spiritually, and the joy of that will fill their hearts.” No mother is thinking that when she watches her sweet baby fade away before her eyes. Who could possibly be joyful? “Well, that’s because we are sinners.” There is no winning. Same goes for war-torn countries. Would you encourage a woman to continually have children in a situation where they live every moment of their lives in fear? “They should never be afraid with God.” I’m sorry, but  there ARE reasons for people to not continually have children, and I really think God would agree. ”Well if He didn’t want the woman to have many children, He wouldn’t allow the mother to become pregnant in the first place.” He would not want children to suffer in a world like that. I think you don’t understand how lucky you are. Some women are forcefully raped for years on end or taken prisoner while pregnant. In both situations, they have their newborns brutally murdered in front of them. Of course, this is not an act of God, but if a woman knew this danger was present, I would think God would not fault her for wanting to protecting an innocent potential child from a horrifying life. And I don’t mean by abortion. I mean by simple birth control (abortion is murder, not birth control) that is either chemical and stops eggs from being released altogether, surgical, or something of the latex variety. Same argument: ”Well if He didn’t want the woman to have a child, He wouldn’t allow the her to become pregnant in the first place.”  But women get pregnant, and these awful things DO happen. No benevolent God would tell a woman she is not allowed to protect herself and protect a potential child from being born into an unimaginably horrible life.  For women in situations such as these who desperately WANT children, it would be a great act of love to sacrifice motherhood so that her children would not suffer.

    Living in this country, is easy to say that God always provides for families with many children, but people elsewhere are not so lucky. Is that because God doesn’t love them as much as He loves your family? Of course not. Sometimes the best thing a husband and wife can do for their family is to take non-murderous precautions so they do not bring another child into a virtual Hell on Earth. These are, of course, extreme situations, but again, my point is that there ARE situations where continually getting pregnant and having children is not in anyone’s best interest, and I do not think God would delight in watching anyone suffer.

    I know that you will dismiss me as a terrible person for saying this and say that you are in the right no matter what because God says so or come up with a condescending comment about how my argument is wrong, poorly written, and poorly expressed, but while you may feel like I don’t understand, I feel like you don’t understand.

    • Chris & Wendy

      It looks like you covered all your arguments for families in 3rd world countries. What do you say about women in wealthy countries?

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      It looks like you covered all your arguments for families in 3rd world countries. What do you say about women in wealthy countries?

      • Joseph

        My intention was to cover why it really isn’t always reasonable in every situation because every time someone here comments to say it isn’t for them, there is an argument for why there is absolutely no excuse at all to not constantly be having children, which basically amounts to an attack on character and personal morality.

        I’m not arguing further because we will disagree there no matter what. Whose religion or morals are superior and correct has been a universal argument for thousands of years. I was interested in your family, but as I read through your blog, it just seemed like a lot of personal attacks and judgment. It disappoints me to see a virtual and repetitive condemnation of likely good people who choose not to have more than a few children. It very much comes off as if you look down upon the vast majority of American families rather than just loving people as they are. Maybe you think we are misguided, but after reading things on here, it feels as though you have no respect for people (even fellow Christians) with views that differ at all from your own. Just as you and your wife do, my wife and I cherish and appreciate every moment with our children, and we are so thankful to have been blessed with them.  Just because our kids won’t have ten more siblings, though, it doesn’t mean we don’t think children are blessings. We will raise our two children in the ways of Christ: to love God, do good for others, be good to others, and look for the best in others. I think those are your basic intentions for your children, too. Those are the fundamental teachings of Christianity (and most religions in general); how many children one has is just one tiny part of God’s Word that we interpret differently. To magnify this small difference seems divisive and unnecessary and alienates readers who would otherwise enjoy learning about your family.

        • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

          “I’m not arguing further because we will disagree there no matter what.” Followed by 250 words of argumentation.

          Look, if you and your spouse would like to have another child, you will have the Jeub’s 100% support. We’ll cheer you on and support you and encourage you and love you. We think it’s awesome when parents overcome their trepidation and bring on another exciting blessing.

          Because we know they have a world of argumentation that discourages them. Wendy and I work to counter that. If our attempts anger you, I’m sorry about that. I really am.

          • Joseph

            “‘I’m not arguing further because we will disagree there no matter what.’” Followed by 250 words of argumentation.”

            “We will disagree THERE.” By “there” I meant that we would disagree on the point of wealthy countries and children. I didn’t try to make an argument for that at all because we have fundamental disagreements over that issue.

            It just makes me sad that you seem to have no respect or love for people who are different. Why not support, encourage, and love people even if they don’t have many children? They have the same basic intentions for their children as you do for yours. And maybe you do, but from your posts, I don’t feel that.

            If you were only out to support others who might be on the fence by telling your story, that would be great, but it seems like there is a huge judgment component and something almost akin to bullying people into making your same choice. Again, it’s the implication that if you do not make that choice, you are somehow a bad or inferior Christian that I don’t understand. If stopping at two children is a sin, I think there are far worse sins.

            You have a lovely family, but I do not believe you would say the same about mine even though we are good people raising two loving children. 

            It doesn’t anger me. It just makes me sad that someone would seemingly judge my entire character based on one thing.

            And maybe I have completely misinterpreted, but this is how I have interpreted this blog and the postings from others.

            • Jennifer Mull

              Are you kidding?!?! You just spent all your words on judging and assuming what you *think* the Jeub’s are saying and what YOUR general impression or “interpretation” is of their website, blog, and family values….. your impression/interpretation is your JUDGEMENT. To share what they believe without attacking others (which they didn’t) is NOT them judging…. however, you have felt no concern or hesitation in giving full vent to your judgement of what you believe they are saying…. sounds an awful lot like conviction and defensiveness to me….

              • Joseph

                I’m not claiming to be a superior Christian; however, I don’t see expressing what I have interpreted as judgment, though. It felt like they have the opinion that you aren’t a good Christian unless you have many, many children. It felt like they were saying that you could be the most charitable person in the world, but if you purposely didn’t have more than a few kids, you are bad Christian. So, yeah, I got defensive because IF that is how they look at other people, that’s upsetting.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

              If I may reply, the Jeub’s website doesn’t need to go out of it’s way to encourage families that wish to prohibit having children, the world and most Christians already do that.  They specifically minister to those families that have more than the “norm” because there are so few people out there doing that.  I have personally read each of their books and I can assure you that they are meant for encouragement, not condemnation or judgment.  If somebody picks up one of their books to read, or reads posts on their websites, they are in the least curious and perhaps questioning what others believe.  The Jeubs are there to answer for what they believe.  They don’t come into other people’s homes and beat them over the head with Bibles. 

              Joseph, I am personally grateful that you took the time to post and share with everybody your point of view.  God uses many different types of Christians in many different ways.  May the Lord bless you as you  seek to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

              • Joseph

                Amy, thank you for your rational and calm reply. I actually really appreciate this.

    • Gaylene

      Joseph – I appreciate your perspective.  However, when I read the Jeub’s site I never feel like they are telling a woman in Africa to keep having children who will most likely die early on.  I hear them speaking to me, someone who has 4 children and who wants more but is just scared.  Scared that I can’t handle another little one to care for.  Scared that there won’t be enough money for food.  Scared that we are already packed in a small home so how can we add more.  Just scared.  I hear Chris and Wendy saying “God will provide.  He will give you what you need to ‘handle’ another little one.  He will make sure you have food to provide.  He will work out our lack of space issue.  Trust in the Lord as the Lord put it in your hearts to have another one.”  I think they are speaking to the couples that want more children but hear society say “are you nuts” and worry about being so tired and exhausted.  How will we do it?  God, that is how.

      • Joseph

        Okay, see, that perspective, I understand. Giving people some extra confidence and support to do something they may be unsure of is fine. I firmly believe in social/interpersonal support. It’s the implication that if you do not make that choice, you are somehow a bad or inferior Christian that I don’t understand because to me, that looks like you are looking down on and judging the majority of society. If stopping at two children is a sin, I think there are far worse sins. Why not have respect for others, even if they decide to stop at two?  Why judge others like that? I feel like they preach about how God wants people to be constantly having children no matter what, but then turn around and ignore other important teachings: Love thy neighbor and do not judge. Even if they choose to stop at two children. 

        Also, I don’t feel like they are saying women in third world countries should keep having more kids either, but people here make blanket statements that basically say there is NO reason to NOT have a dozen children because NO MATTER WHAT, God will provide. God does not provide for those less fortunate women in the same way he does for us. Maybe there are women right here in this country who also do not receive the same provisions. Ultimately, I was simply pointing out a situation wherein having many, many children is NOT a good idea because those generalizations were bothering me.

        Some people can have many children and a happy family, and I think that’s wonderful. But they might look at me with my two, and judge me as a bad Christian, even though the amount of children I have is only one part of who I am as a person.

        • http://allaboutclothdiapers.com Autumn Beck

          “If stopping at two children is a sin, I think there are far worse sins.”  This saddens me that a Christian would say this. The logic of your statement says there are acceptable sins because there are bigger sins to worry about. ALL sin is terrible, ugly and punishable by death. I am grateful that God gave us a pardon for our deserved sentence through Jesus Christ but that is no excuse for sin. Paul tells us in Romans 6: 1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?  Certainly not!

          I know it’s off topic but you hit a nerve that I had to address :)

          Mrs. Jeub, I would love a blog post on the correct Scriptural explanation of judging.  I always see people flinging around “do not judge” when they feel they are being attacked.  We are certainly to teach what is right and we are certainly to correct others when they have been mislead or mistaught.  Just an idea.

          • Joseph

            My wife and I don’t consider stopping at two children a sin. I haven’t been mislead or mistaught. Think whatever you want. That’s just how we interpret the Bible. And that’s not because we’re reading what we want to here. Even before we were even thinking about children, we didn’t read those passages as a mandate to have as many kids as humanly possible. 

            To me, my statement about sin was logical. Someone straight up murdering another person out of pure hate and rage has to be worse in the eyes of God than someone telling a small lie so as not to hurt someone’s feelings or deciding to only have two children.

            As for judgment, I suppose it’s hard to read into tone through text. But to me, yes, I felt attacked. No one wants to feel like someone doesn’t like them. We may not think alike, but the rest of us are not bad people. And it FELT like it was being inferred that those who don’t have a whole bunch of kids are bad people. In hindsight, I wish I had calmed down before I wrote the initial post so as not to have sounded so accusatory. 

            I think it’s lovely that some people have large families. A lot of people here have mentioned that people make obnoxious comments about them having so many children, and I’m sorry about that. Those people are wrong, and I really can’t see why they feel like it’s their business to even say anything to you at all other than perhaps a compliment. When I came here, I felt like how you probably feel in those situations. Like people were saying unkind things about me simply because I only have two children.

            • http://www.theologicalthoughts.com Michael

              Joseph, I don’t think anyone is attacking you. It’s more like they think they’re defending against your attacks. To have only two children is not necessarily a sin. It’s not the number of children that makes anything sinful, but the attitudes and actions towards/against God’s command. For example, I can think of some sinful actions that could result in only two children: abortions to prevent more, etc Also certain attitudes as well: chasing the idols of money, career, etc. over and above children. I’m not saying this represents you, just giving examples of how sin could play a factor in some people’s family size.

              But alas, I think we can have a civil discussion. A couple of questions to further where you stand, if I may.

              Do you think children are a blessing? If yes, have you ever knowingly denied other blessings from God?

              • Joseph

                Yes, I think children are a blessing. Our reason to stop at two was medical. My wife had two very difficult, life-threatening pregnancies– the second of which nearly took her life and our child’s during the birth. After a lot of prayer and serious thought, we decided to simply be happy with the two we have. Our kids need a mother, and my wife wants to see them grow up. We felt our experience during the birth of our second was God’s way of helping us to appreciate what we have. This is truly what we feel, though one might read what I just said and think, “That’s not what God wanted you to get out of that experience at all.” However, one’s relationship with God is extremely personal, and what we feel in our heart of hearts is what we feel. We feel God gave us peace with our decision. We feel so blessed to be a family of four instead of just two or three, as it could have been. Because of all of this, we do not feel that only having two children is denying God’s blessing. 

                I’m not sure what you mean by denying other blessings? Do you mean have we ever knowingly conceived a child and “denied” it? Of course not.

              • Michael

                Joseph, in your case you may have made the best decision in your wife’s given situation. It is hard to say without having all the details. Since you can not have more biological children though, shouldn’t you be happy that others are not limited by medical reasons?

              • Joseph

                Of course I’m happy for others. I’m not begrudging anyone for having more children, just as I don’t want people to assume I am being selfish for only having two. I think it’s great if people have 20 kids, and I think it’s great if people only have two or three, as long as they put thought into their reasons, love their kids, and help their kids grow into good people. 

              • Jennifer Mull

                This is a good post…. you are showing your family’s experience… which cannot be denied and invites us to support you in it…. a big difference from theoretical scenarios that have nothing to do with what is happening here and now.

              • Joseph

                It seemed like there was no acceptable reason, including my own, so I suppose I should have just gone with my actual situation instead of something more extreme. It didn’t seem like even our situation was enough to be acceptable. Thank you, Jennifer. I think we have come to an understanding.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

              I agree. having two kids is NO SIN. neither is it a sin to have 19 children. neither are sins. anyone who says so is adding to scripture. There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

              • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

                besides God knows from all eternity everything that will happen. He knows how many kids we each will have or not have. We think we are choosing, but Ultimately HE is the one in control!!!!

              • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

                and– get this– He is even in control when people have birth control. People do get pregnant despite precautions. He even was able to do the virgin birth! God is SOVEREIGN.

              • http://www.chrisjeub.com/ Chris Jeub

                You know, you really need to read what people write. Not many people will say it is a sin to have two children, especially the Jeubs. Recognizing the blessings of children and how it is affirmed in the Bible is not equivalent to saying it is a sin to having two.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

          just keep trusting Your Savior and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks about how He has led you. We must not judge each other base on family size, big or small. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

    • Jennifer Mull

      I wanted to just briefly point out that in those countries in which children are dying…. many women do NOT want birth control…organizations have gone in and tried to teach the women about birth control, and they refuse it. They don’t want it…. the concept is lost on them… why? Because they want to have MORE children, not less, hoping some will live…. losing a baby causes you to really value life. What they really want is for their children to live… not to stop having them.

      Not having them anymore wouldn’t make their current children live…. On the other hand, if the rich would feed the poor and if the privileged would extend to the needy…. and if the haves would help the have nots…. then maybe they would have children who could be healthy and live…. In fact, I’m sure it would change their whole outlook and society….

      I think your post completely misses the point….. those children in those countries…. God does provide, but He also allows us to be selfish and withhold that provision…… the provision is in YOUR pocketbook….and mine….

      • Joseph

        Many women may not want it, and that’s fine, but it if a woman DOES want it, she shouldn’t be denied it.

        And I’m not sure if you are implying that I am selfish with my blessings, but I am not. 

        • Jennifer Mull

          Near as I can tell, if  a woman wants birth control, she can get it… she won’t be denied it in this country or any other…. and there is no danger of that being taken away. Nothing the Jeub’s say or anyone else says can make that a possibility. Some even use Natural Family Planning, which is highly effective when used correctly and can be even more effective than other forms of birth control. This is actually one method that is being taught to women in third world countries to help them be in tune with their own bodies.

          No implication was made about whether you are selfish or not… only that this is the reality of God’s provision for the starving and sick children of the world. If I were not able to have more than two children, I would seriously be thinking about how to care for orphans… that is what the bible says is “pure religion”.

          As it is, I am not in the position, right now, to be able to adopt, but I still feel a call to find a way to reach and care for the orphans of the world. We are ALL called to do this in some way. Doesn’t mean only adoption.

          That was my only implication…. that if children are sick and dying… then WE are supposed to do something about that. Having fewer children doesn’t cure the problem……

          • Joseph

            We are not in the position to adopt now either, but we have always done what we can for others. 

            I think we can’t really look at each other’s arguments objectively. I think you missed some of my points or maybe I didn’t articulate it well enough. That said, this argument is going no where, so I don’t care enough to elaborate further. I’ve spent enough time on this, and we will disagree no matter what.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

      I agree with you. I understand what you are saying. I believe God understands all these points of view, and each of us can trust in His freedom and will for us.

  • Leannvipperman

    I have five children and constantly hear the rude remarks from strangers about our large family. I also look younger than I am so there are tons of questions about my age and “Are they all yours?” We have at times been scared. I started birth control after the 3rd and it took a toll on my body. I started again after number 4 and this time got pregnant on birth control and my baby died because of course I didn’t know I was pregnant at first so I didn’t stop the pill until I suspected it (birth control is murder in some cases). We then got pregnant with number 5 and since have decided the rest is up to God (as if it wasn’t before lol). While having more does bring fears I welcome whatever decision God makes for us in the future. Our lives and our futures are in God’s hands and we trust Him to always provide and He does.

    • http://www.adventurezinchildrearing.com Kelli- AdventurezNchildRearing

      I have only 3 (boys) I’d love to have more, but health has not permitted – I totally trust God with it- I also tried to do the birth control and it didn’t work well for me- made me sick as a dog – So, it is all in God’s hands and has been now for many years. Our boy #3 is adopted. Maybe God will lead us to adopt more or give us another. In the mean time, I’m so thankful for the ones I have. I don’t believe that everyone is meant to have `12 kids- obviously not us. (and we are fabulous parents :) Of course, we could be in for a big surprise. I don’t understand what everyone seems to think is so condescending? I don’t interpret those Bible verses exactly the same as the Jeub’s because, I don’t think it’s saying that EVERYONE should go have 10 or more children – and I know that I can’t have them, but I’m glad it means that for them- they have a beautiful family who are a blessing just as mine are. I think it’s a good testimony and a good example to the rest of the world to have close loving families of all sizes. God bless you and yours~ 

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  • Cathy B

    I did not read all the comments, just kind of skimmed through. I am pregnant with my 6th and do not get stupid comments as much as jaw-dropping, wide-eyed looks when I tell them it’s my 6th. Pretty funny. Anyway, I don’t feel that God calls everyone to have a big family, just like we are not all called to the foreign mission field. Does that make my walk any more or less important? I think not. My husband and I have decided to trust God for our family size. Hard? Scary? Yes to both. This simply means that this is not our area of struggle, usually! This baby is a boy, my youngest a girl. Needless to day, I needed pretty much everything for this baby. Everything from boy clothes to a stroller that wasn’t pink! I also neede a bunkbed, dresser and toddler bed. I was a bit stressed thinking of all the needs and not having health ins until just 6 wks ago! But God is so faithful! I now have nearly everything I need and all was given to me: toddler bed, beautiful bunkbed with drawes and bookcase, stroller, infant seat, clothes and on it goes! I also got gifts of cash and giftcards to get what I need. Plus, we were also blessed with a rocking chair which I wanted but didn’t ask for as there were more important needs. And also gifted with a sofa which we really needed! My point? When we are obedient, God will provide! I have been so blessed and simply because of this pregnancy. Don’t take that wrong. God blesses when and who He chooses. I just know that for us, these blessings came because of the needs we had because of having another blessing. By the way, we homeschool, on one income in a 3 bed 2 1/2 bath house. We manage. It’s a sacrifice we make to bring these blessings into the world. It’s not always easy but that’s how God chose to bless us!

    • Miguels Helpmeet

      I actually DO see exactly what you are saying!! my hubby was laid off for 3 years. and then God called us to trust Him with our fertility… (can you say yikes!?!? lol)

      then a week after my baby was born… my hubby gets a job!

      oh, and within WEEKS of announcing this pregnancy,  we had everything we needed, from clothes, cribs, a car that fits us, and even cloth diapers (which were on my one day hopefully, maybe, wish list. lol ) God has blessed us not only with needs but wants!

      and we are also in a 3 bedroom, homeschooling, with now 4 kids. and praying for twins if God should even bless us again!! :-)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Roddy/100002031624794 Amanda Roddy

      It seems G-d is providing because people feel sorry for the kids. If more children means you depend on the goodness of others, than you are wrong to have more.  I think you just get a thrill out of living well below you means.

      • Jennifer Mull

        Amanda, you completely miss the point. God IS the Provider… He moves in people’s hearts… sometimes He moves in others’ hearts to give us clothing, food, and furniture… like when my husband lost his architecture job and had to clean apartments for an income… God blessed his willingness to do whatever it took to care for his family. Technically, it wasn’t enough, but people were moved in their hearts to share their plenty with us….. it was very humbling. A true gift and blessing!

        Sometimes, He has moved in my heart to give something that I have, and I get to enjoy being the giver. If you don’t know the blessings of both giving and receiving, I suggest you give it a try.

        When a family is living on faith that the Lord will provide, they don’t know if they are going to receive what they THINK they will need, but they always receive what they really do need. Our society has it in mind that every child has a right to his own bedroom, a tv, a computer, a cell phone, and all sorts of other material goods. But, that is an American dream and not at all biblical.

        My children even told me that they thought it was easier to trust God to take care of them because they saw the amazing things God provided for us and continues to provide. We are not the providers… we are the stewards of His Great Goodness…..

        • Net

          Well said.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=781240719 Amy Wells Facchini

      I had a friend who was Muslim and she said there they like to trust God for their family size and provision. I felt humbled by this because we claim to trust Jesus also. Yet I do also believe God gives us choices in life. Much more than we even realize. We have to trust Him in everything and that includes in our decisions as well. Many things He lets us decide, for we are reasoning people made in His image, and I do believe this freedom includes family size. Either by abstaining, barrier, etc– or by trying to have many children. If your husband does not want a huge family, it is our calling to submit to the authority figure God has given us in our husband. God is ultimately in control and sovereign over everything. We do not want children to become an idol and we long for Him more than children or anything else on earth. Even good things can become an idol if not submitted to God. If God wants to give us more children, I believed He was able to change my husband’s heart and He did already. My husband is willing to try for a third. I did lose our third awhile back, but God’s timing is best. If He wants it to happen again, it will be His timing, not mine. His, not mine. I need to give God all my desires and trust Him no matter what. I am more than content with our two if that is God’s plan, and God has given me all I need. He is so good. What matters is glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. He is the only One. So whether trusting God with our children or with not having children, with our jobs or everything– it’s all about trusting Him whatever we do or don’t do.

  • http://twitter.com/NotAshamedR116 Annmarie Rozelle

    Just want to share briefly my story… (maybe I shared it alread?)
    My husband and I will be married 20 years this year. In those 20 years we have had 7 pregnancies and 5 live births. We did use some birth control until my second child was about a year old, when the Lord convicted us that this was an area He wanted to control.  Well, my youngest just turned 9 and me 42. I have desired more children but have fully trusted God with his decision not to give us more. He has brought other things into our lives to do for Him right now that would be more difficult if we had more children (although I know He would give us the grace and the ability to do them with more children if He decided to give us more.) So, I can’t agree when I hear people use the excuse: ”I just know I will wind up with 20 children if I don’t use birth control.”  I could have said the same thing earlier on in my marriage. But God saw fit to only give us 5 blessings to raise for Him. If He decides to give us more, I will be blessed and if He doesn’t I know I am  blessed.

  • Margie

    Just wondering why this  has to be a “Christian” thing- I have 4 daughters, raised in a home with love and support- How about a higher power from within?  

    • Jennifer Mull

      If I am a Christian, which I am, then I see things from a Christian worldview…. I post things that come through that filter…. same with other Christians… we can’t be something we are not. We can’t post from a position we are not in.

      You can post from that position if that is where you are, but I would never expect you to have a  Christian perspective if you are not a Christian. I would not expect a Jewish man to post from a Christian woman’s perspective, nor a Muslim woman to post from a Christian man’s perspective, etc.

  • Californialovebirds

    I don’t usually comment on these debates because I can definitely understand the many perspectives, but I did want to say a thing or two. I have had the great privilege to know and observe you guys (the Jeubs) and I know that you are very gracious folks and not generally in the judgmental variety although I feel that your writing can on occasion read that way. I say this with the utmost respect. After struggling with this issue and listening to the back and forth and living several of these perspectives personally in the past few years I keep coming back to one conclusion. I think that when God made woman and said it was very good that this was a complete family- before they had even had a child. I really truly believe that when we get to heaven God isn’t going to give one hoot about whether we had zero or a dozen plus children – He will only ask us as to what we did with our lives and did it bring Him glory. Out side of our Jesus fish and Christian prerogatives, did we reflect the Master- where was our heart? There are many professions that are unhospitable by nature to children -i.e. Corporate travel, performers, etc. Think of all the people who might never know Jesus if we were all called to the same thing. If I am sitting next to a the wife of a corporate executive at a fancy event, I can not hope to talk with her for long if all I know is diapers and home birth. (this is actually a common situation for me) we need common ground sometimes to influence people for Christ and for some of us that might mean a more compact family to make that possible. To be a little harsh, I feel that this issue is another division distracting us from the great commission. You may be surprised a little by this conclusion but I am a little more comfortable being bolder with you because you know us personally and I hope you know it is all spoken with complete respect for your family. We love you guys and think you have a great thing going : )

    • http://www.theologicalthoughts.com Michael

      “I think that when God made woman and said it was very good that this was a complete family- before they had even had a child.”

      Except that God gave them the command to go forth and multiply, before the Fall.

      • Melissa

        When He said “go forth and multiply” there were no orphans.

  • tereza

    the Bible says that children are blessings from God. Similarly there is a blessing for those that tithe, there are blessings for those that have children. Some have decided that they do NOT want to receive those blessings. They usually find out that they made the wrong choice but then it’s too late. God’s way is always best, but we are stubborn and we insist in doing it our way because of our selfishness or fear. Both are sin and keep us from experiencing God’s plans and good future for us. :)

    • steve

      Are you suggesting that I break off the wonderful relationship that is being nurtured between me and a God-fearing, born-again woman (who just so happens to be in pre-menapause, and who will probably be well into it, if not past it, by the time we marry–should the relationship go that far)?

      Besides, there WAS a time when I was very eager to meet a nice woman, get married and have a family, but crumby financial circumstances (which Almighty God “allowed into my life”) just came along and “devoured” everything, knocking the wind out of my dreams of having a family.

      Does the Bible really say that a man should not have a relationship with a woman who is born again through Jesus Christ, loves the Lord and is steadfast in her faith if she no longer has her period?   And that does not even take into consideration how much (or how little) ammo I myself have left.

      • Lauren

        I just wanted to let you know that there are many wonderful children who are looking for homes. If you are interested in helping them you should become foster parents, if you adopted older children you could change their life and not have to “raise them into your 70′s”. We have adopted two children from foster care and been amazingly blessed by them as well as we have had 32 foster kids in our home and have seen the way that a loving family can help them! Know that God can use you no matter what!

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  • Steve

    I would just like to mention some of my experiences in life, and how they have based my decision (which I am mostly sure of).  I had graduated college in my early twenties, and found it difficult to find employment.  I found one position which I had lost a couple of years later. I was out of work for three years, getting grievously worn out from no income in the face of bills piling up.  My course of action, back then, was to do my best to eliminate “unnecessary expenditures”.  The top candidate among the necessary expenditures was in the social scene. Consequently, I seldom, if ever, went out anywhere where there was any kind of expense involved. Oh, yes, upon the intense coaxing of my mother, I did take a “reality of single life” course together with my brother.  It was one of those efforts in which mom wanted to see me “get out there” and meet people.  I went along with it (not telling her that I was just going through the motions).  I did not have the drive myself, because the money situation was pressing me very much.  I continued on for about three years, until I finally landed a job in a 24-hour bagel shop making minimum wage, and then got a job as a teacher at a dumpy school. Shortly after I got the teaching job, one of the students referred me to a school in Manhattan that was part of a personnel agency (three years after which I lost my mother).

    I started teaching in Manhattan part time while I taught at the first school.  Eventually, I switched to the school in Manhattan. I stayed at that company for about 7 years, but did not have anything in the way of a car to pick anyone up in (which made me feel kind of foolish), so I held off until I had a car, which did not happen.  After seven years, I was laid off from the position I had in Manhattan, and quickly got a higher paying position at CompUSA, and then was transferred by the agency that placed me there to a law firm because the manager at CompUSA attempted to cheat the agency out of their placement fee.  I worked at the law firm for about a couple of years, only to be laid off from there, and face a few more years of unemployment with bills piling up.  During those few years, I had a couple of brief assignments here and there, which were sporadic at best.

    I then found work as a security guard, only to have my father belittle me that I was the only person in my “college” graduating class who worked as a security guard. I tried to put the humiliation out of my mind. Time kept rolling by, and I was getting older by the day.

    Flashing forward to today. I now have a car (an old Honda Accord), and a couple of weeks ago, I got very close with a woman whom I had known from 1998.  It looks like the relationship may work because she and I have a lot of things in comment.  One small point.  She is in pre-menopause.  Oh, did I forget to mention that my father had too passed away three years ago, so now I have at the back of my mind that neither of my parents will ever grace the special “milestones” of their grandchildren (which, at least, my father commented more than once when he was alive that he would have loved to have).

    I am currently 47, and, given all the circumstances, just don’t feel that I want to expend the energy needed in “starting” a family, raising, children until I am almost 70.

    Now, what were you saying about children being “a blessing”?

    • Steve

      There is a typo in my last post.  Where it says “The top candidate among the necessary expenditures…” should read “…among the UNneccessary expenditures”

  • Fr. Prasad

    i am a catholic priest serving many families in my parish. The faith of the people is very rich. they are regular to the church and always depending on God. But the sad thing is that  families are very poor financially. To uplift their condition i am doing all the posibilities. Educating their children and taking bible classes regarding family issues etc.  I request your great generous help regarding helping the poor families in my pastoral care. 
                                                             Your brother in Christ Jesus
                                                                      Fr.prasad
                                                                Email: [email protected]

  • Nora Olson

    Its amazing how people dont want to be judged for # of children but readily judge and persecute those who have more than 2 children.
    mom of 8

  • Janet Kiessling

    Amen! To the post! We are the Kiessling Family! We have 9 Blessings – and yes, all are Gifts from the Lord! And 6 of these Blessings – we are adoptive parents too!!! The birthmoms could have done the unspeakable – but they didn’t!! God has put each and everyone one of them on this earth for a purpose!!! And He gave us the job to parent them to hopefully be that somebody that they want to be! And, yes, CHILDREN ARE A HERITAGE OF THE LORD!!! Thank you Jeubs for this wonderful post! BTW, keep us in your prayers, we might be moving – out of state – better job for my husband – and then we will be able to do foster care/adopt again!!! Have a blessed day!! Janet…:o)

  • Terry

    Thank you for posting these verses. I really enjoyed them. May Jehovah our God Almighty bless your family greatly.

    • http://www.chrisjeub.com/ Chris Jeub

      You’re very welcome, Terry. Thanks for the encouragement!

      • melanie

        You know not everyone is into having a lot of childern.

  • Melissa

    Children are blessings, and there are more than 100,000 blessings in our country that have no family to love them.

  • Steven Renner

    If there a blessing why do then 99% of Christian Women not consider adoption of older kids as the first choice. That’s being said there bigiots in their own ways. Look at the number of kids in foster and state care if you truly want to enforce the bibles beliefs then those kids should come first. I have no problem with children but Christians and societies adults only think of them self first when it comes to families.

    • http://www.chrisjeub.com/ Chris Jeub

      Where did you get the 99% stat? I know many families who have adopted older kids. I’m one of them.

      I don’t get this argument, but it comes up often. “You Christians are hypocrites because you don’t save all unwanted children.”

      Children are blessings. Always. Foster and adoptive kids included. I’m not sure where you get the idea that they aren’t.

  • melanie

    God is going to bless me with 4 childern some years later