Dec
08
2011

Trolling on Quiverful

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of children.

This is Part III of a series of posts on Jeub Trolls and Haterz.
Part IPart II • Part III 

The term “quiverful” is somewhat new in Christian circles. The idea comes from Psalm 127, a beautiful chapter from Scripture, that highlights the heart Wendy and I have in family life. Here it is, raw from the Bible:

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.
2 In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves.

3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Personally, Wendy and I love this chapter. We have it hanging on the wall above our piano, introducing the long line of “arrows” in our family’s yearly pictures. It is a beautiful explanation of children — “a heritage from the Lord” — as assets to the family, blessings of the greatest degree.

We’re blessed with 16 children who, without any doubt, bless us and those around them beyond our imaginations. With every child that is welcomed into our home, we realize more and more their incredible value in the world. The birth of a new life is a celebrated miracle.

A most common misunderstanding of this chapter in Psalms is that parents should race to have as many children as possible, as if Wendy and I are out to “beat the Duggars.” I know parents with a quiverful mindset who have just a couple children. The point is that God does the “family planning,” not us. We just make love without worries, and God takes care of the “choosing.” If He chooses to bless, we’ll gladly receive, and that’s the way it is for millions of “quiverful” couples.

But let’s be honest. Today, most parents choose to restrict their blessings. The conviction to just let the children come, allowing God to pour His blessing into our family life, is a conviction that has grown on us over the years. (To really dig deep into this conviction, get our book Love Another Child.)

So, if you’re okay with the next pregnancy and will enjoy life free from the myriad of contraception gimmicks out there, you’re on the same track as the Jeubs. It doesn’t matter how many children you have. You and we have the same convictions. Children are blessings. No exceptions. The unborn, the unwanted, the out-of-wedlock, the empoverished, the one or two, the couple dozen — every single child on the planet — carry tremendous blessing. The world may argue to give up on the child — avoid, abort, whatever — but we say no way.

Children. They’re blessings. Always.

I hope you resonate with this message. The trolls don’t. They cringe at large family living, ridicule the faith it often requires, and despise people like us. They often post on this site, more so on TV gossip sites, spreading vitriol that is aimed to hurt and destroy family living.

We were on a CBS news broadcast in 2010 (see here). We were interviewed alongside an author (single with no children) who wrote a book on the quiverful “movement,” painting the picture of us as hyper-dysfunctional, emotionally abusive zealots. I bought her book and read it. I dare say it is an expose against religion, not large families, as she ceremoniously attacks Christian ministries who promote the quiverful idea, even others that don’t.

I believe her book misses the mark – big time – that of the wonderful blessing children are to families. She tries to explain what a healthy view of children is, but she comes across like a typical single-woman-with-no-children does. It turns out she is an avid pro-abortion advocate, even writing fondly of abortion media campaigns encouraging young women to be proud of their abortions. What a lifeless message.

But what about the quiverful “movement”? To be honest, there is a hideous side to it. The CBS episode also interviewed a mother of seven who used to promote an ugly side to quiverful living. Few large families I know ascribe to the legalistic standards she placed upon herself and, worse, her children. She has since abandoned it, and when she described her previous life on the show, Wendy and I were sort of thankful that she did walk away from it. Allowing God to bless her life had, it appeared, little to do with love. It had much more to do with a twisted, legalistic religion that she came to realize was ruining her family.

I’m going to go into that next time. This post already has a lot to talk about. What do you think about the quiverful “movement”?

About Chris Jeub

Chris is the father of 16 children, busily running the family businesses and learning the depths of love along the way.

  • Sheila

    Hi Chris.
                     I have read so many articles abbout the Quiverful movement and most of them have been very negative. We do not have this movement here in the UK so most of the comments have been from the US. I love to see large families and whilst researching my family tree I have discovered many large families including both my grandfathers. They came from families with 15 and 13 children.
                     I also have a friend here in the UK who has 17 children and they are such well behaved, polite children who have also been homeschooled.
                    The only thing that I have read and feel slightly concerned about is the link between the movement and Bill Gothard. Having listened to some of his preaching I find some of his teachings quite disturbing. Do you and Wendy use the ATI homeschool curriculum such as the wisdom booklets or do you use a different system for your children?
                     I am so in favour of  accepting  all the children God blesses you with but I thought that Jesus came to set us free from all the legalism of the Old Testament by his grace and a lot of Gothard’s rules are pretty obscure Old Testament laws.                 
                                       What are your views on this?

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      I sure appreciate our UK friends. Our posts go up typically at 5am here, which must be a great time in the UK. You’re always the first to comment! =)

      No, we don’t do ATI. 

      Boy, you are REALLY going to like my next two posts on this.

  • Thom

    Pregnancy? Why is there all this talk about pregnancy?

    If children are a blessing, why haven’t you adopted any? I have adopted two (a fairly easy process) and they bring me untold joy. 

    Why do the Jeubs never talk about adoption? Are only birth babies “blessings”? 

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      What part of “all children are blessings” didn’t you understand?

      • Thom

        Well, I didn’t see how you were practicing what you preach. It seems only babies by birth are blessings, judging from the posts.

        • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

          Well, you judge wrongly. You cannot expect me to cover too many topics in one post.

          Here’s a great article on adoption.

          • Thom

            Posting an article about adoption is what you do to help widows and orphans?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BZXHT7XDXDDSOBCWGPTUGYGV5Q Elizabeth

      Thom, as an adoptive Mom I really don’t want to see parents who have no trouble conceiving and giving birth also adopting children. We were on the waiting list for years to adopt. Maybe you found it a fairly easy process, we didn’t, and we adopted 3 times. I haven’t seen the Jeubs say that only birth babies are blessings, they’ve said all babies are blessings. And they are.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BZXHT7XDXDDSOBCWGPTUGYGV5Q Elizabeth

      Thom, as an adoptive Mom I really don’t want to see parents who have no trouble conceiving and giving birth also adopting children. We were on the waiting list for years to adopt. Maybe you found it a fairly easy process, we didn’t, and we adopted 3 times. I haven’t seen the Jeubs say that only birth babies are blessings, they’ve said all babies are blessings. And they are.

  • Jackie

    “Children are blessings. No exceptions. The unborn, the unwanted, the out-of-wedlock, the empoverished, the one or two, the couple dozen — every single child on the planet — carry tremendous blessing. The world may argue to give up on the child — avoid, abort, whatever — but we say no way.”

    What about living children who need homes? Aren’t they blessings to you, too?

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      I would say they fall under the “whatever” category. It meant “and so on,” “etc.” Isn’t that rather obvious, Jackie?

      • Jackie

        “The world may argue to give up on the child — avoid, abort, whatever — but we say no way.”

        If you say “no way”, how have you help children in need of homes? If the world has given up on them, how are you different? I’m asking this respectfully.

        • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

          What are you talking about, Jackie? How have Wendy and I “given up on them”? I do not understand what you’re getting at.

  • jenny

    I am all agreed with the adoption aspect, my DH was adopted and it was such a blessing to his life.  However, I don’t think just anybody should just jump on the adoption bandwagon without prayerful consideration and consider how it may affect the children already in their home.    Seems like the Jeubs, have their hands pretty full, howbeit, well-loved smart children.
    God bless!

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      Very good point, Jenny. Thanks for posting!

    • Thom

      True, they have their hands full now. However, it seems like in the last 20 years, the Jeubs chose not to adopt.

      Remember, Scripture tells us to care for “widows and orphans.” 

      While adoption can sometimes be time-consuming and costly, I think that these blessings are worth it. Don’t you? Everything is not easy in life.

      It surprises me that there is so  much talk here about children being blessings, yet it only seems to refer to children who enter a family by birth.

      • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

        Thom, you are trolling for a contradiction. All children are blessings, including adopted ones. I never said anything to the contrary, and neither did Jenny.

        • Thom

          No, you never said anything about adoption at all. 

  • mrscindeed

    Adoption can be a great blessing for both parents and child.  That said, adoption is not the ideal plan, it’s a second option that exists because of sin in the world.  The ideal plan, the plan God created, is one where a man and woman, married to each other give birth to a child. 

    Adoptions often represent a trauma or problem somewhere in the life of the parents (though some choose to adopt rather than to reproduce) and always represents trauma in the life of the child.  Because of that, adoption has to be entered into with great thought, planning, and prayer.  Giving birth doesn’t require quite the same process because that process is just following God’s original design and plan.  Adoption requires a careful remolding of the plan and it is more difficult to navigate that path.  I believe it’s normal and natural to give birth to children and that with few exceptions all couples are called to that role.  I do not believe that all couples are called to adoption.  That is a special calling. 

    Don’t hear me saying that I have anything against adoption.  Adoption is prevalent in my family and I’m very thankful for that gift.  I just think that no one should feel the same responsibility to adopt as to give God the control over fertility and take what comes.  I think that if God wants families to adopt He will place that on their hearts and lead them down that secondary path. 

    Providing for widows and orphans doesn’t necessarily mean to adopt them.

    • Jackie

      You are saying that adoption is “too hard” because it  might involve dealing with some trauma?

      So, you don’t do a good thing because it is too hard. That means you are disregarding God’s Word (caring for women and orphans) because it’s too much trouble.

      Aren’t we called to do the hard things in life? Since when is life supposed to be easy? Choosing the easy path–since when is that the right  option? I am glad Jesus didn’t think it was “too much trouble” to do the right thing.

      • mrscindeed

        Wow!  Did you even read what I said!?  Here are some of the things I said:

        – Adoption can be a blessing
        – Don’t hear me saying that I have anything against adoption.
        – Adoption is prevalent in my family and I’m very thankful for that gift

        Where did I EVER say that it was too much trouble?  And I never said that it just shouldn’t be done because it’s too hard.  I only stated that it’s more difficult because it’s not in God’s original design.  Anytime there’s a deviation from God’s original plans things become more difficult.  Because of that it requires more thought, prayer, and planning.  I never said that one should do it.  I just said that folks should feel pressured to do it unless that calling comes from God.  Be careful of reading more into this that I stated.

        Speaking of Jesus doing the right thing, that only goes to illustrate my point.  God’s adoption of us into His family was very difficult and costly (it cost Jesus His life) and according to Scripture wasn’t an easy thing for Jesus to do as witnessed by His ordeal in the Garden of Gethsemene.  It required much prayer.  That’s all I’m saying about adoption.  It requires much prayer and consideration and a clear calling from God.  It’s outside of the original design and shouldn’t be pursued lightly as a matter of course.

        • mrscindeed

          Edit:  Both “should” in my 3rd paragraph ought to be “shouldn’t.”  Sorry!

        • GM

          “Outside of the original design”?  Really? Where does it say that in Scripture? I see a commandment (largely ignored here) to help widows and orphans.

          I don’t see anywhere where God says that one thing is part of His Original Design and one thing is not. Perhaps that’s the way you see it, but I’m not sure if God agrees or not.

          • Anonymous

            Any situation that involves an adoption is a situation that involves sin.  Somewhere in the story is a sinful decision or a death which is ultimately a result of sin in the world.  God’s original design was a perfect, sinless world and because mankind chose to sin we now have to deal with it’s repercussions.  Now we have widows and orphans.  Now we have a commandment to help widows and orphans.  Sometimes that help includes adoption.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  It depends on what specific action God has called one to.

            • GM

              Really? An infant whose parents die in a car crash is involved in sin?

              Even if there is “sin” involved in a situation, why does that matter? Does that negate your responsibility to help an innocent child? WWJD?

              • Anonymous

                My point was that death is a result of sin in the world. You make it sound as if I would say it’s the infant’s fault somehow.  That’s ludicrous.

                My point about sin being involved did not ever negate responsibility on anyone’s part, only that it creates a situation that is separate from God’s original perfect design which creates a need for more thought, prayer and planning.

    • Guest

      “Adoption can be a great blessing for both parents and child.”

      So you are saying adoption can only sometimes be a blessing? ALL Children are a blessings.

      • Anonymous

        Adoption and children are two different things.  Yes, ALL children are blessings.  I never said otherwise.

        • Abby

          “That said, adoption is not the ideal plan, it’s a second option that exists because of sin in the world.”

          I will just say, many children are not waiting for adoption because of a sinful world. Many are needing adoption because their parents have died. Maybe not so common, but so tragic. I have never adopted, so I am not speaking out against you, I just think it is worth remembering that these children are God’s plan too, and I think adoption is actually natural because many who look for children to adopt form a very natural love for them.

  • Terri

     We ascribed to the quiverful movement About 19years ago. God then gave us our fourth and last child and a boy!  I’ve taught my children what we believed and why. Each one has prayerfully made these very personal decisions for themselves and their spouses.  I do see a danger though. We have friends that think they are to have as many as possible. Cutting breastfeeding short. Marrying a young girl to have more babies than the older lady that God told him to marry might could have. ect. To me you should not  force God’s hand either way. 
      We’ve prayerfully considered adoption. God always shut that door for us.  I ache for my own baby (adopted or natural). I weep at God’s throne. We’ve only been given children that we  have to give back the past two years and that is sooo hard on Husband. Love your posts. Glad to see normal people having big families for God’s glory.

  • Cheerfulmum

    i’m enjoying this series of posts. God is with you! xx

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      You bet, mum!

  • Amy Y

    Personally, I don’t consider our decision to allow God to choose our family size to be a “movement”. For us, it was a miscarriage after our first 4 children that created in us a heart change. We believe God has called US to receive as many blessings as He wants to give. However, I can never say that it is right for all families. Just like I can not say that adoption is for everyone. If you have not heard God’s calling to adopt or foster a child, then there should be no guilt. God has not called everyone to have a “quiverful” family, just as he hasn’t called every family to adopt. For those who are following GODS calling I your lives, let the world judge all they want! In the end, you will stand before the Lord and give an account for your own actions.

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      You hit the nail on the head, Amy! Wendy and I feel the same way. We are kind of “caught” in the movement, but it boils down to the personal calling to love another child. Thanks for posting!

  • Nora

    I dont consider my having children a movement,,  and hate it when people think that way I simply believe that  birthcontrol is abortive(which is murder) Life does begin at conception.   As a christian  getting tubes tied or vasectomy is destroying my body , the temple of the holy Spirit. ,   Denying God  control of my life.  We either believe in him or we dont.      Why are children so hated,, such a nuscience to the world? Why do people spend so much time hating those who have children,, ?  They dont have  to live with them , so why bother persecuting us.
    I have been amazed at the times I have heard good for you,, or we regret not having more, or you should have more,,   ect… their are those who will pat you on the back,,, rare ,, but their out there.  it is nice to hear those comments,, im usually leary and expecting the worse.   I could never have dreamed having this many kids,  but I dont have regrets,, just wish birthing them was easier. 

    • roddma

      The whole birth control is murder is Quiverful propaganda. Just because someone makes another decision isn’t meaning they hate kids.What is right for you may not be right for others.

  • http://theyoungpages.com/jodis_blog Jodi

    I couldn’t agree more with your views on this one, Chris!

    What does make me sad is that the QF and adoption communities seem to be so at odds with each other.  I love that you guys had a guest post on adoption, and I know that you believe that is also a wonderful, God-honoring thing.

    I just wanted to share, from experience, that being open to God planning your family doesn’t *have* to exclude adoption.  We were going merrily on our way assuming we’d keep having a baby every 18 months or so when, about a year after our 4th was born, God laid adoption on our hearts.  We began the process, trusting Him with the timing of everthing, and though we have had another baby since beginning the process, we will also be bringing our son home next month from Eastern Europe, Lord willing.  

    Is it complicated being pregnant while adopting?  Yes.  Could we adopt more children if we chose not to also be open to pregnancy?  Maybe so.  But we have seen God do amazing things throughout the whole process, and we are left without any doubt that He is 100% sovereign in this area – He can open wombs *and* shut them according to his perfect plan.

    I think we’re all on the same team here.  Children are blessings, however they come into our families.

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      This concept that QF folks are somehow anti-adoption is new to me. Is there a prevailing anti-adoption figure you know of? Post a link here, I’m curious.

      • http://theyoungpages.com/jodis_blog Jodi

        I don’t think QF-ers are anti-adoption at all, but there are so many obstacles to adopting when you have a large family (we know!), so it perhaps looks from the outside as though QF families aren’t interested in adoption simply because not many of them (are able to) do it.   Adoption is expensive, and there are very specific requirements about income level and rooming arrangements for adopted children that would rule out many large families.  I do think that most large families, like you and Wendy, would be very much pro-adoption even if they don’t adopt themselves.  Who isn’t?  It’s such a beautiful thing! 

        I have noticed, too, that some members of the adoption community seem to think that if you are really committed to adoption, you shouldn’t also be open to becoming pregnant.  I can’t really think of a specific link to share, but I can tell you that if you mention on an adoption forum that you’re looking for an agency that is okay with you becoming pregnant during the process (there are a few), the room gets a little chilly.

        I think it’s just that both “sides” feel so strongly that they are doing what God has called them to do, and there is a perception that the two callings are mutually exclusive.  In some cases, they probably are.  But I have found a handful of lovely families online who have encouraged me that it is possible to be open to blessings from God both by birth and by adoption. Here are some blogs of families that I have really come to love:

        http://bakersdozen.typepad.com/
        http://blog.lovedbeyondallmeasure.com/
        http://theblessingofverity.com/

        I don’t know the specifics of their convictions, but each of these families has either been pregnant while adopting or pursued adoption with an already large family at home, or both, and they have all been a huge blessing to me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

    Talking about personal convictions is something that I usually do only in a private conversation and/or when asked a pointed question.  My reasoning for that is to clearly point out that they are MY (OUR) convictions and not necessarily something that God is asking of others.  This general rule applies to so many of the decisions that we have made as a family.  That being said, I feel like this is a private sort of conversation, with mostly like minded people, and a specific question was asked.  What do you think about the quiverful “movement”? 

    I don’t like it when people refer to it as a movement.  It certainly isn’t a fad that has just come about in the past few years.  Technology has made it possible for more people to see large families, such as the Duggars, Jeubs, Heppners, etc. on television and I think that has brought more attention to something that has been around since creation.  Families following a conviction from the Lord should not be considered a movement.  Now that I’m off my soap box I will move on.  (Chris, seeing the words “movement” in quotes leads me to believe that you feel the same way so my soap box was not directed at your article.)

    Without wanting to start a national debate on the sovereignty of God, I will give you our own family’s conviction and belief about being quiverfull and birth control.  We believe that God is completely sovereign over all things including life and death.  We believe that there isn’t anything we can do to have or not have children.  Before anybody misunderstands, let me give you a few examples.  #1 There is a well known speaker that talks about being pro-life who is alive because of a failed saline abortion. #2 Sarah was well beyond the child bearing years when she gave birth to Isaac.  #3  A personal friend of mine got pregnant twice after her husband’s vasectomy.  Yes, these are exceptions to the general rule, but God isn’t hindered by statistics.  He is greater than any obstacle we put in His way, and His will cannot be thwarted.  I don’t phrase our personal conviction as “handing it over to God” because we believe that God always had it.  It was more that we acknowledged God’s design over our family size.  

    I appreciate the fact that Chris, in his article, talked about being quiverful minded and how that doesn’t mean you will necessarily have a large family.  It is a mindset, a conviction that children are a blessing, and that you are willing to receive as many blessings as God pours out on you.  There are plenty of small families that would welcome many more children, but for whatever reason, only had 1 or 2.  They are still quiverful. 

    I want to make sure that I clearly state these are OUR convictions.  God does not convict every family in this way.  What He convicts you of, you must be faithful to do.  It doesn’t mean that anybody is better than anybody else.  It means that as different parts of the body of Christ, we have different gifts, talents, abilities, roles and purposes in God’s kingdom.  He made us all different for a reason.  Embrace these differences and love one another because of them. 

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      VERY well stated, Amy.
      Yes, I have the same reaction about “movement,” and that’s why I put it in quotes. It’s as if to say, “Really? Having children is an out-of-the-norm fad? Come on.”

    • Anonymous

      Amy, I love your statement about foregoing the use of the phrase “handing it over to God.”  I hadn’t thought about that before.  I think the way I’ll put it now is that we finally realized that God really is in control of the design of our family and that we decided to stop interfering. 

  • Ingrid Samuel

    Hi Chris,

    Sorry dont have time to answer your question. But I have a question for you and Wendy which has been playing on my mind. Do you actively try for children ? My husband and I have left family planning in the Lords hands. We are really blessed with three wonderful boys and we would love more. I only have one ovary. We dont date watch or monitor my fertility we just wait to see what happens. Now I’m thinking may be we should. Thanks for you time. By the way I love your blog. Read it every morning. Hope your health is improving.  

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      You ask a really good question. Wendy and I haven’t ever addressed this. We’re always addressing the folks who are “afraid” of getting pregnant. Your question is, “What is you’re having a difficult time getting pregnant?”

      I’m going to save the longer answer for a future blog post. Real quick answer: for us, no, we don’t intentionally try to make love right on “the day.” 

      • GM

        “We’re always addressing the folks who are “afraid” of getting pregnant.”

        If they’re afraid, they’re afraid. Why put it in quotes? Are you saying their feelings aren’t real? To me, that seems a bit disrespectful. How can you judge what another is feeling? You may not agree that they should be afraid (though how would you know?), but they are still afraid.

        By the way, it’s “Prayers Out to the Duggars.” Not “Prayer’s”. You don’t need the apostrophe, because you are not talking about a possession, and it is not a contraction.

        • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

          Thanks for the typo correction. I appreciate it.

          As for the “afraid” in quote. Gee, GM, you’re reading into it too much. Let Wendy and I write the blog post first. Then you can jump on us.

          • GM

            I don’t understand. I was respectfully asking you a question. Why put “afraid” in quotes? However you meant it, it seems disrespectful.

            • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

              Hate to put you on hold, GM, but you’ll have to wait till the post arrives. Sorry!

              • GM

                Well, I hold to my original point that your descriptions of someone’s feelings was disrespectful.

        • roddma

          On the flip side there are those afraid of not getting pregnant. They are afraid of losing their identity and displeasing ‘God’. They fear being shunned by thier Quiverfull community fo rnot having enough kids.they even go so far as to use IVF and other unnatural conception methods. It is inane comparing not wanting more kids or not wanting kids to fear. There is a such thing as logic.

  • Roddma

    The childless aren’t the only ones who speak out against Quiverfull. You are talking of Vycki Garrison.  Garrison is the mother  of 7 but left the movement citing how draining and unrealistic it was. The problem isn’t with large families but twisting  a verse in the Bible to support it. That verse came at a time when men had more than one wife.  Ironically Anne Coulter is a political conservative  does not have children or a husband. She has penned many books about her views so anyone else should be able to do the same. What about other Christian conservatives who are single and childless by choice or otherwise? The thing I  find worse than a single childless woman speaking out against a movement is those who support Quiverfull and never have married.

  • gilora

    Deciding whether or not to use birth control (of whatever type) is a personal decision and we are fortunate to live in a place where different choices are tolerated.  One of the things that  makes the quiverfull “movement” problematic is its link with dominionism. 

    Chris, what is your take on dominionism?

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

      Dominionism? Whoa, that’s really difficult to cover in a comment section, but is a very good question. I’m saving that one for a blog post.

      Real quick answer: I put “dominion” in the camp with a lot of spiritual concepts that, without love, can be an ugly application in life. Funny that you post this today, because I include it in today’s post on legalism. See here.

  • Titania

    I didn’t know it existed until recently. I just had my first son and am always being asked if I am on birth control. When I tell them I am not, I get faces and comments, that make me want to say something I know I shouldn’t. I mean, I struggled to get pregnant, married for 4 years and not once used birht control. And now that God blessed me with my first, why prevent it in any way? I don’t know how to respond to suchquestions, because even my pastor and his wife believe it is “irresponsible” of me to not use birth control. See my marriage has not been an easy one, and my husband has currently walked away from God, but I am trusting God, not only in my family planning, but also to restore his walk with Him. But I don’t thinnk that makes me irresponsible, because God didn’t bring this far to leave me, and I want Him to have his way with my life, but my church family just doesn’t seem to understand that. Any advice?

  • Ronald Stauffer

    My Ruth and I sometimes refer to ourselves as “quiverfull” minded, but we never thought of ourselves as part of any movement.  We just want to be blessed by God, in his time.

    As to GM’s concern about Chris writing that some couples are “afraid” of becoming pregnant… I have personally known many couples who use words like fear, anxiety, “oh no,” “God forbid,” etc to describe their trepidation at getting pregnant.  They openly discuss how it would be an unfortunate thing for them “at this time.”  Many refer to unplanned pregnancies as “accidents.”  I don’t think Chris is presuming any special ability to read minds here.  He’s just referring to the actual words of many couples who have no problem admitting that they are afraid of getting pregnant.