Dec
09
2011

Prayers Out to the Duggars

The Duggars

We have the utmost respect and love for the Duggar family. Last month on USA Today, Michelle and Jim Bob announced they were expecting #20 in April. Yesterday, they made the sad announcement that Michelle had lost the pregnancy. She is at home recovering.

The Duggars are champions of love. We have been so incredibly proud of their consistent large-family message centered on Christ’s love. It seems that the closer you are to the heart of love, the greater the pain at the loss of life, so we definitely grieve their loss. Our prayers are out to the Duggars!

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

  • Pam

    How difficult. She must have been quite pregnant, as I was also due in April and lost mine at 9 1/5 weeks; several months ago now.  Praying for them. What a kind, awesome family. I just love Michelle’s calm, kind and loving way.

    I wandered to a thread about the  ‘Duggers’ the other day. Quite a lot of bashing going on there. How discouraging. So many comments about ‘I don’t want to judge them but…” and then all mean, ignorant comments. (How selfish they are, how they certainly can’t have time for each one, how rude that they make the older ones do all the work and raise the youngers, etc.)

    Now being parents of 13,  we have made a point early on to not cause our children to despise their large family (we have seen this in friends).So we are intentional to do certain things with this in mind. For example, I make a point to do  the ‘mommy chores’ myself (unless they want to help) such as diaper changing and meal prep. We try to home educate in an excellent way (so they don’t feel like they missed something better), and I actually ‘schedule’ one on one time during school; each one narrating their thoughts for 15 minutes. They love that I listen to just them. And they narrate the books, but many other things come up too. We do walks and errands with only one or two often, and are constantly doing meals, boys cutting wood, girls cleaning the house, etc. as a group). It is a ‘work in progress’. We are honored to have stewardship over these children. We don’t take it for granted and pray that God would make us worthy of the blessing.

    Accusations may be ignorant or incorrect, but they do help challenge us to excel and give us a reason for accountability to God.

    • Calla

      Pam, it sounds like you’re doing a large family right! I think a lot of families with fewer kids don’t do as much one-on-one time as it sounds like you make a priority. You have a great perspective.

      • roddma

        Most of the time both parents must work no matter the number. I don’t like accusations of how those with fewer kids do not spend adequate time with them. In case yo haven’t noticed, the main beef with the Duggars is the work placed on the older girls.It is one thing to help but another to be saddled with parental duties.The younger need their own separate room from the older ones. The way things are arranged it appears th eolder girls do much of the work. Those with larger families always somehow trying justify them.

        • Jennifer Mull

          I disagree that most of the time both parents must work…. I know lots of homeschooling families where that isn’t the case… or even if both work, one parent is at home, working out of their home, ie.doing childcare or selling things, etc. I think most of the time parents BELIEVE they both have to work, especially if they have made choices in the past to force that situation or haven’t really looked into HOW to stay home. Many parents do make a lot of sacrifices to have at least one parent home.

          Also, I can see how having the older children help out might be the main beef for some, but most people who feel that way do not understand that most of us who have larger families and who homeschool (because there are smaller families who feel the same way) value this differently.

          I wish more young men and women had the opportunity to have some hands-on help with younger siblings…. You would see some younger men who are more mature, who understand the importance of caring for others, who aren’t afraid of a snotty nose or changing a diaper and who know how to help out around the house…. you would see young women who actually understand that value of life, the value of purity, and the who would be prepared at any stage of their adulthood for parenthood. Sure there are probably times when an older sibling is not thrilled with the watching over and care of a younger sibling…. but this is good training to learn how not to be selfish.

           You are also not understanding the dynamics of a larger family, when you are talking about the appearances…. I only have 8 children, but I remember once, my aunt told me that I have such well-behaved children. I joked about the work that went into that. She said, “No, when you aren’t looking, or even in the area, if one of your older boys sees one of the younger kids getting into something, they just know to go and stop them and re-direct them. They handle the younger ones without even telling you. That is rare in today’s society.”

          My children are taught to look out for one another. I have told them to keep an eye on each sibling, and I have given them a buddy for when we are in public, but even if I don’t, they often just automatically do… they LIKE their siblings… they LIKE having younger brothers and sisters…. this is something that is difficult for those who value “time for self” over “time for others”. If a home were truly run by selfishness, meaning mom was selfish and never helped the kids with the children, then the kids would be selfish and not want to be together…. a lot of homes are run like that. But, there is no evidence that the Duggars home is run by selfishness.

  • Sheila

    I only just found out this sad news about five minutes ago. My heart goes out to Michelle and Jim-Bob and I hope and pray that people out there who are constantly criticising them will respect their privacy and leave them alone to grieve.
                    I know that the Lord will give them strength to get through this difficult time. He sees the whole picture where we only see a small part and sometimes life seems so hard.
                     I shall be praying for them and I am sure that many others will too. It is Josie’s second birthday tomorrow and she is such a miracle that I am sure the family will be thanking God for her and that may go some way to help them through this sad time.

  • Rocky Mtn Homeschooling Mom

    I read the news last night and was devastated.  I have had two losses and with my first one, I had no idea the baby had died either, until I was at the doctor’s having an ultrasound.  It was a nightmare and I feel so bad for the Duggars.  I prayed for them and thought about them all last night and this morning I still feel their pain.  I pray that God gives the family strength and peace at this time that only HE can provide. Thank you Jeub’s for your prayers and thoughts.  

  • T. Gates

    I too was saddened to hear the Duggar’s news!  How dare the people out there that are saying they deserved it because they should have stopped having children long ago!  They loved this baby as much as they love the ones they already have, and the pain of losing it runs deep.  I pray that they are comforted by those that love and care for them and blinded and deafened to the comments that tear them down.  I also pray that somehow the younger children will be able to understand why God would allow this to happen.  I hope that people will leave them alone durning this time and allow them the chance to grieve as they need to.

  • Shawnee

    My heart goes out to them. Each child is a blessing from the Lord. I hate the horrible comments being spread about them. It’s awful to hear – well they deserved this. NO ONE deserves to lose a child. Our prayers are with them during this difficult time.

  • Karipfan

    So sorry to hear of their loss.  I will keep them and their family in my prayers.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BZXHT7XDXDDSOBCWGPTUGYGV5Q Elizabeth

    Any pregnancy loss is difficult, a second trimester miscarriage is especially difficult. I hope they will choose to mourn in private, no cameras, no TLC show on the loss. 

  • LisaAnn

    I am so very sad for them and so very disgusted at the disturbed people who show no compassion and are using this time to attack them. God bless and protect them the Duggars and please educate and open the hearts of the nasty acting ones.

  • T. Gates

    I’m disgusted with how the today show had an “expert” on this morning telling how age, etc. could play into birth defects, preeclampsia (wrong spell I think).  The expert also stated that suffering from preeclampsia in one pregnancy puts you at higher risk of it again.  She suffered from it with her first set of twins and then went on to have 15 more children before suffering from it again.  I wonder how the experts explain that!  True enough the expert is a doctor, but she’s not God; He has everything in His hands!

    • Pam

      As a midwife, I have to say that older moms don’t typically struggle with pre-e more than younger ones. It’s not an age thing, but more of a dietary one.  It can be true that if you have it once, you could repeat, but again because of the root cause of dietary deficiencies. Quality protein, plenty of water and exercise are priority. First time moms and moms with twins have the most problem getting enough protein, imho. 

      You are so right that she has had amazingly healthy pregnancies. Funny, so have I, but when our last gave us a few struggles certain people were quick to jump on that familiar bandwagon– that we should stop, or that I’m not healthy, or I’m too old, etc. It’s a fallacy. Advice that is given out for a mom with over 12 children applies the same for a mom with 1 or 2. Sorry for so many words. The subject is near and dear to me.

      • Jennifer Mull

        Pam, I agree with you 100%…. all of my 8 full-term deliveries were completely different… none the same… no “birth pattern here”. I had 2 vag deliveries, then an emergency c-section from a prolapsed cord…. people told me that this was God’s way of telling me not to have anymore…. then I went on to have 3 vbac’s intermixed with 4 miscarriages…. even my m/c’s were completely different from one another…. then a scheduled c-section for transverse lie ( and that was my easiest pregnancy out of all of them…..) and the last was a vba2c…. I also was told that I was getting old and that my m/c’s were a “sign from God” that I should stop having children…. but, I am glad that God knew best what I needed and I didn’t miss out on my younger children.

        From what I have read, Michelle’s progesterone levels were very low…. and that has nothing to do with her previous health issues.It was irresponsible for a doctor on tv to make guesses at what could’ve  caused her miscarriage.  I am the same age as Michelle, and I don’t know whether I’ll be blessed with anymore, but people do not realize that you can’t make blanket statements on a future pregnancy based on a past one…. they can all be so very different….

        • Pam

          Thanks Jennifer. I’m with you. Content…and actually older than Michelle; but I would love to be blessed with another. What a blessing it is to have and raise a child. What an honor.

      • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

        You are absolutely right, Pam. Wendy has found the same to be true. So glad to have a midwife post her thoughts! Thank you.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tiara-Smith/100000386126152 Tiara Smith

        Yes,I have to say I agree that Michelle’s health is good and I don’t think that was the reason.More likely is genetic defects,which can occur at any age.

  • Jennifer Mull

    I have been so sad about this loss… it seems particularly sad since I’ve had a few FB friends who have also lost babies recently…. But, I have to admit, I am really struggling with outright anger with those who are making such hateful comments…. It seems to demonstrate the depth of callousness and darkness that is the potential of the human heart… people can have opinions, but being rude and offensive just makes them look evil, ignorant, and lost…. I wish people could get a look at this situation from eternity’s eyes…. God isn’t concerned with the things this world deems important…. He is concerned with populating heaven…. souls are HIS concern….He isn’t worried about temporal things like money and “enough attention” and many other things that have been used as excuses for limiting children….. Michelle has the honor of birthing this little one straight into heaven…. this child has fulfilled his or her purpose here on earth….. whether we understand it or not. It is a painful and difficult thing, but there is beauty in it… “God gives grace to the humble….”

    • T. Gates

      You said it so well!

    • Doris Bissell

      I totally agree 100% with you Jennifer! Doris

  • Doris Bissell

    It broke my heart when I heard the heart-breaking news I just love all you great large families alot! My Prayers are with the Duggar Family! They sure have had their shares of tough times the past 3 yrs with the passing of Grandpa Duggar to The early emergency C-Section & the 7 monthes that Precious Josie Brooklyn spent in the hospital & her couple of scarry moments & Now, this miscarriage! But this family will be Okay! Jim Bob & Michelle have done an Excellent Job in raising 19 great Children! “Smile!” Love & Hugs Always in Christ; Doris Bissell.

  • Calla

    A miscarriage is always tragic whether you have twenty kids or none. I hope the Duggars can grieve privately; what a sad time for them all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1160853318 Tammie Page Ewert

    You know my thougts are with them. I do not think anyone should ever have to feel this pain. This is so hard, yet as they teach … I learn.