“Wendy, I am struggling right now with my oldest daughter. It is heart breaking for me and I am struggling with being angry. When my daughter IS sweet, I don’t even want to be lovely with her because I am so worn out, hurt and offended by her [earlier behavior]. I know that is not right, but I am struggling to get through it. … You and Chris have really learned what real love is and how to show it. I want to learn from you. You really need to write a parenting book! I am hoping to hear something from you that I can implement.”
– Frustrated Mom
You are experiencing what every mom experiences with their children eventually: adolescence. It is one of the most emotionally high-strung time periods of our lives, and it is very difficult to live with them through it. Chris and I have been through it with a handful of our children, but we have many more to go. So, I’m with you and understand!
My best advice to you is for you to try to move quickly with your relationship with your daughter. Her emotions are moving fast! One second she is happy, then excited, then angry. I’m asking you to be her guide through this dark and scary forest called “growing up.”
Hold her hand and look her in the eye and love her through it. Try to remember when you were her age and who helped you. Try to remember what didn’t help. Be her ever-present loving mommy.
Try to not take it personally. Her battle is not with you, really. She wants to learn how to grow up. Therefore, you be the grown up. You be the one who is first to forgive, first to give a hug and first to love. You be the guide and guide her to Jesus. Help her to learn the right way to behave but do it with that knowing look in your own eye. You know because you are older and because you have already been down her road.
And keep in mind that this time will pass. Someday soon, your daughter will be rational again, she’ll have control of her emotions, and she’ll be the sweet person you love to love. Because of your patience and understanding, she will be a well-adjusted adult and a best friend of yours. You don’t want her to look back at you as impatient or angry through this time. No, that wouldn’t be good. You want your daughter to look back and be thankful that she had you as her mom.
You will be surprised along the way at how God comes in and gives you both what you need. God picked you to be her mother, and he knew just what he was doing. He believes in you, He loves you! Let your daughter see the same kind of love (encouragement, understanding, kindness) in you. Blessings and hugs to you!
The comment section below: I would love to hear other responses to “Frustrated Mom.” What would you say to encourage her? What has worked with your teenager? Boys included!