We realize that most people wonder how anyone would want more than just a couple children. We spend a good deal of time on this blog speaking to people with these common presuppositions. But there are many who get what we’re saying, and they desire more children. A houseful of little ones is actually a pleasant idea. It may not be as easy to conceive for them as it is for the Jeubs, but they still desire to have more. We say that desire is right on. These folks have their hearts set on one of the most tremendous blessings a couple can ask. Are you desiring to have more children? We say that’s awesome!
Every once in a while someone will write in and ask if this desire is off base, especially when they need to seek medical advice because they are not able to conceive. Of course, we have never had this problem, buy why would someone think this to be a wrong thing? One mother explained that this would be “second guessing God,” and another mom explain that anything beyond “hoping” for a child is trying to trick God. We find these views strange. Think of these things…
- We desire more money. Is it second-guessing God to attend a Dave Ramsey seminar and tighten up our finances?
- We desire a nicer house. Is it second-guessing God to buy a few how-to manuals and plan a remodel of our kitchen?
- We desire great relationships with others. Is it second-guessing God to find a community church and seek out wholesome relationships?
Money, a home, and relationships are all blessings. Aren’t children just as much a blessing? We think so.
But we know where this mom is coming from, really. Two thoughts. First, there exists a ridiculous legalistic attitude that trying to figure anything out in life must be some sort of “doubt” that God is in control. Silly religious nonsense, that is. God is so much more personal than that, He wants to bring us life to the fullest, and He places desires on our hearts that are holy and good. Desiring children couldn’t be better.
Second, it comes from the options that the world gives parents who have this desire for children. There are options that allow parents to conceive lives then kill the left overs. It is a gruesome answer to a most holy desire. It’s like…
- Robbing the poor to fulfill a desire for money.
- Defaulting on the home mortgage to afford the remodel.
- Posing as someone else to gain superficial friendships.
Actually, it’s far worse. Killing unborn children to increase your fertility is backward thinking and should never be chosen. In fact, it’s sad that we live in a world where that choice is available – sometimes encouraged. This is a fallen and backward world in many ways.
A life with children is a life of blessing. No doubt about it, and we’ll keep posting encouragements to this most loving and trusting relationship with God in your life. But don’t give in to those lifeless options that are available to you. They take life, not give it. Your adventure into family life should be based on life, not death.
We meet a lot of families who simply go for it! They are the courageous ones. If these couples find medical help to increase their fertility, great. If those options are exhausted, adoption may be sought, and that’s just as healthy and honoring of a pursuit.