Feb
21
2012

Dear Mrs. Mom

Need encouragement? Feeling like you’re holed up in an insignificant corner of the world you call home? I want you to know that your hard work as a wife and mother is the most important thing in your life. You are making a difference in the world in how you are blessing others, particularly your family.

What you do today will make a difference tomorrow. Not many working women can make such a claim. I say “working women” with my tongue in my cheek, for I know you have a pile of work waiting to be done. It’s overwhelming at times, I know, but you know what? That’s okay. Relax a little. Keep your little ones close. Read books to them, hold them and touch their sweet faces. Kiss those rosie cheeks and savor those moments. Today is the day to show them your love, so make the best of today!

Check in with your hubby during the day, if you can. Let him know you are thinking about him and that you love him. He is so important to you and he means so much. You gave him a kiss goodbye this morning, right? (Get back into that habit, Mrs. Mom.) Give him an extra big kiss when he comes home to make up for it.

I know, I know. You’ve got laundry to do. Well then, throw the load in and get back to your family. Yes, there are dishes, too, but don’t forget (and don’t feel guilty about it) to take some time to just be. Nearly every day I squeeze in a cat-nap in the afternoon, so if a mother of 16 can do it, so can you. Take a walk, talk with God, discuss with Him your frustrations and your joys. If you are close to Him, he’ll always reaffirm your commitment to your family.

Be blessed, Mrs. Mom, because you are.

Please share this with other Moms.

About Wendy Jeub

Yes, Wendy Jeub has brought 16 children into the world, and loves each and every one of them. So much so, she'd welcome more!

  • Amy

    “What you do today will make a difference tomorrow. Not many working
    women can make such a claim.”

    Women who are teachers, doctors, nurses, psychologists, and social workers  can all make that claim.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

       I think the point of this blog is to encourage Moms that their work is important and necessary.  Working women certainly don’t need a blog for that encouragement, society tells them that everyday. 

      I guess the difference I see here is that Moms would rather make a difference in the lives of their children, differences that will have eternal significance.  Whereas, the women you mentioned above that make a difference do so in the lives of others, while others are making a difference in the lives of their own children.  That seems a little backward, not to mention unbiblical to me.

      • desertvixen

        The women Amy talks about are making a difference in the lives of others, and a worthwhile one at that. 

        Those same “working women” are also, most likely, Moms.  The two are not incompatible.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

          I cannot agree that the difference they are making in the lives of others is more worthwhile than the difference they would be making if they stayed at home to parent their own children, rather than putting them in daycare.  If you are referring, as the writer above was, to children who are in school, then please understand that is not the same as what I was referring to. 

          • Ninabi

            It depends on the mother and also on the children.   Parents know their children best- and some children absolutely need the love and attention only a parent can give.

            I think of my sister in law.  She is a good mother and has raised three fine kids, good grades, sociable, decent young adults.  But she told me years ago when she was pregnant that if she did not work, she would be a bad parent.   Rather than be depressed, frustrated and bitter,  her personality was such that she craved the demands of her career.   Maybe should would have been a lousy stay at home mother and taken it out on her kids.  As it is,  they grew up wonderfully and don’t seem deprived.  

            I also think of a good friend and her husband who help raise their grandson.  Love in the house- you bet there is!  They love that little boy with all their hearts and everybody believes it is best he grow up with family and not in daycare.   His mother is a doctor and so many people need her healing skills.  If she were to stay home, a lot of people would suffer and I do believe my friend’s life would be so empty without the little fellow who is the light of her life.

            Mothers absolutely need to be supported- whether they stay at home or work.   Wendy is right- women at home need extra encouragement that they are not getting from society at large and I can think of many who need to hear her encouraging words.

          • http://jeubfamily.com Wendy Jeub

             Thanks Amy! You are both agreeable and insightful. I am talking to the stay at home mother. The one who has chosen to stay home for her family. Yes it makes a difference in the lives of her family. 

      • Nancyjoya

        Actually, you are incorrect.  I am a working mother and I am never told by society that my work is important and necessary.  I work outside the home (and I work inside the home as well when I get home) to ensure that my son will have the funds to attend college and not be burdened with debt when he graduates.  Instead, I am expected by society to go to my “job” and take care of my family as well.  Do I wish I did not have to work outside the home? Yes.  But this is not an option.  I don’t go to work because I don’t love my son…I do it because I do love him.  He is in school all day and he is very intelligent (97 average this quarter) so I see nothing wrong with it.  I make dinner every night and we eat at the table as a family when his father gets home.  We spend time together as a family at night and on the weekends.  He is no worse off than if I spent the day at home doing laundry.  I find your comment offensive.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799259836 Amy Woolley Pederson

          You have brought up several helpful things.  #1, I should have been more specific in my post so as to leave no room for misinterpretation.  Thank you for sharing your take on what I said and for giving me the opportunity to clarify.  “while others are making a difference in the lives of their own children” was referring to daycare. It is sad to me that women are willing to spend their intellect, their talents, their gifts, their love and their time pouring out the very best of themselves into a job to benefit others around them but they don’t see their own children as people that need to benefit from what they have to offer. 
          #2, your work does not take away from the time you have with your family.  My comments were not directed at you.  Kudos for finding a beautiful balance and making time to be a family.

        • http://jeubfamily.com Wendy Jeub

           Nancyjoya, How can you be offended? You work full-time outside the home? You have 1 child? Your 1 child is in school all day long? Your child is old enough to make good grades? Your child is old enough to clean up after himself? Your child is old enough to make his own bed, own food and do his own laundry? You all 3 eat together every-night and you have all your weekends together? Great. What does this have to do with my post?

          Obviously I am speaking into the lives of committed stay at home moms. Those who feel secluded, alone and unappreciated. They are the ones who swim upstream in society.

          You can turn on The View or Oprah and get all the affirmation you need. 

          I am here to support and affirm those women who have taken the home road and I agree with Amy P. it is a wonderful choice.

        • Theklecknerfamily

           WOW.  Staying home doing laundry?  REALLY???  If this is what you think a stay at home mom does, you are WRONG.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1651046276 Brandy Teasley

           It is not about whether or not you are TOLD that your work is important and necessary. It is whether or not that you FEEL that your work is important and necessary. No one said that SAHMs have it harder, or that those who work outside the home have it easier, it is the simple concept that moms who work outside the home would not easily understand. SAHMs get burned out really fast, ESPECIALLY those who have more than one child, let alone those who have many small children, and those who homeschool more often. It is very difficult to find the meaning and sense of accomplishment behind laundry when the laundry basket is full again the next day. It is difficult to see the importance of each dish washed when the sink is full again an hour later. We don’t get a paycheck to tell us of our worth as a teacher, caregiver, and homekeeper. BUT, our end goal is SO much more important than our feelings. We don’t stay at home because we are lazy (I know you didn’t say that, but it is a common assumption), we do it because we are able and willing to put our BEST foot forward to invest in our children’s future, and that means being there. MANY others are Christians fulfilling the Titus 2 homekeeper role, so staying at home and keeping the home becomes about faith as well.

          TRUST me, as a mom to 6 under the age of seven, the house gets a LOT more messy when people are in it all day every day, so there is MORE work at home for the stay at home mom with children, than work at home for the mom who works and who’s children are of school age/go to public school. :-) 

          You have something that works for your family, and that is great, but please have the humility to not come on a post meant to encourage SAHMs by telling this crowd of SAHMs, essentially, that you do SO much more work than they do, and that you have it SO much harder than they do for that. It just isn’t fruitful. You have one child who is out of the house for nine hours five days a week, you work (I am assuming) a normal 8 hour shift, as does your husband. Your house is empty for the better half of each day. You prepare dinner for your family, yes, we do too. We also prepare breakfast, lunch, and a snack, and clean up the mess left in that wake. You have about 5-6 hours of “lived in” time to clean up after each school day, we have a whole day’s worth of mess to deal with daily. Most of all, you feel like you are doing something important by contributing financially, while we are left to remember that our investment is not monetary, it is spiritual and emotional.

          As for college, my children can work through college. Something so important needs to be respected and treasured, and free gifts are seldom regarded as such by the person receiving the gift. They will earn what they have, and if they choose to borrow, they will bear the responsibility of their choices as an adult. So do not assume that we are irresponsible that we are not working to give money to our children to go to college.

          Your responses are exactly why SAHMs are made to feel disrespected and of lesser value than moms who work outside the home for money, and is exactly why posts like this one which encourage SAHMs are needed SO much in these days.

      • Sheila(UK)

        Well said! Mothers should be raising their own children, not giving them to others to do it for them.
        If women stayed at home they would not have to pay childcare, families would be closer and there would be more jobs for men.
        Society is worse off because women want to be men!

  • Beka

    Thank you for this! I was just telling my husband how much I was struggling with this last night, and this was a great blessing to me!
    It is so easy to feel like we can never do enough as mothers and that, at the same time, we aren’t really doing anything. It is a virtually thankless job, especially when all or most of your children are little and are too small to say “Gee, thanks Mom. You’re pretty awesome at what you do.”

  • T. Gates

    Thanks for posting this!

  • Betsy

    Thank you for this article Wendy, this is just what I needed to hear!  As a stay at home, homeschooling mother of 5 little ones 7 and under I know I get discouraged and this really lifted my spirits.  God Bless you for the courage it takes to stand up and say things like this, despite all the criticisms that always follow.  Keep it up! 

    • http://jeubfamily.com Wendy Jeub

       Betsy, Thank you! Yes I am here to support and encourage. I just had a baby and so I am in for the long haul. 😉

      • http://jeubfamily.com Wendy Jeub

         Well the baby is 10 months but still.

  • Jessica Payne

    What a WONDERFUL article and a great reminder to all of us Moms! I know there are too many times that I get busy doing “things” around the house and don’t do the things with the kids that I would love to do. I know there needs to be a balance, but you are right on Wendy that we need to just relax at times and just enjoy our families. You are so right that we need to have some time for us (even if just a few minutes here or there). It is amazing how refreshing that can be! I also rest for a bit in the afternoon. I don’t always fall asleep, but I at least rest my eyes. It helps SO much! Thank you Wendy and the rest of the Jeub for your wonderful Ministry. You have been a huge part in trusting the Lord in ALL areas of our lives, including our family size. We feel so blessed by our first reversal blessing and pray that we get many more! May God continue to use your precious family for His glory. We love you all! <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1160853318 Tammie Page Ewert

    I love this article. It is spot on with how I feel alot of times myself. I had my first child at 16 got married and have been married ever since. At that time and even though weve had 8 children now, then, as I do now, I have always felt MY job is at home.  I get told alot to “go get a real job” and I dont need to reply because I HAVE a real job and I take my job seriously. My job is to raise add to a generation of people after I will be gone, making sure that they are mature, well mannered and can speak for what is right in the world, not just fit someone elses mold of who they think they should be. Passing on morals and values to even the generation after that. I NEVER had the want for anything else but to stay at mom with children and I couldnt imagine my life as doing anything but ….

    There are days I feel that the laundry is monotinous and loading the dishwasher and emptying it yet again is so repititious, but in every way I do things I am teaching my children. Knowing this sometimes seems so overwhelming to me but has also helped me not loose sight of WHY I stay at home to begin with. Some people think I used to watch soap operas all day, talk to friends or generally give myself an excuse to be lazy, but being a stay at home mom is FAR from doing that. It isnt the 1950’s bake cookies and play cards with my lady friends like my Grandma did… but if it were, what is wrong with that ? People see being a stay at home mom as some weakness or disability .. “ohhh you poor soul, having to stay home all day” , I hear as I talk to moms who work … while all the while, I feel like saying ” Oh you poor soul who is never home”. Somewhere along the line being a stay at home mom became someone’s ailment and they all the sudden wanted it to be fixed and felt everyone had to share in thier want for that. It is archaic to think that way because some work and some dont.. I think what Wendy is trying to say is whether we work or not,  we all have bad or ‘off’ days and just relaxing or letting it be instead of stressing over the mundane is what is important.

    Just my .02 cents worth 😉

  • Juliannemcelroy

    Thank you, Wendy. I was a teacher before having my own. We make many sacrifice for me to be home. If I can encourage any mom to take a second look and make a way for you to be home, please take that look. I was happy to pour into the lives of other children. It is by far more beneficial to pour into my own. I cannot retrieve this time back.

    I appreciate your encouragement for some days it is hard to see the big picture. Thank you for always spreading the Love:)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jennifer-Leibert/1018150393 Jennifer Leibert

    Great Post! My husband and I talk about the same things that we are rasing th next generation to be in this world. God called us women to be keepers of our home and to train up our children using Gods word and this is what I am doing with Gods help.

  • Crystal W.

    Thank you for your encouragement.  It’s nice to know that other women can understand how it feels to have a full time job with no pay (but great benefits).  Our contribution to society is much more in the eyes of God than if we decided to fulfill what society thinks we should do or even what we think we should do.  No job could ever be as fulfilling as being a full time mom!

  • Mollie

    This is encouraging, as today I have felt really insignificant. But were doing the Lord’s work and its so close to his heart :) Thank you Wendy for reminding us of what really matters. And thank you to you and Chris for not stopping to encourage others in having children and loving them no matter how much negativety you receive from others.