It’s Not Good to Be Alone

Coffee in bed, one of Wendy's favorite things to do.

I’m in the hospital with Wendy this morning. The tumor that was lodged just alongside her esophagus has been successfully removed without much unexpected complication. Thank you for your prayers!

In order to get the tumor, three incisions needed to be made and her right lung needed to be collapsed. She has normal drainage from her lung (which is being monitored), but the tube that enters her chest is particularly painful. It hurts to swallow and breathe, and she wants to cough. Nausea is a problem, too. She’s receiving medication for both the nausea and the pain.

The doctor told me that while Wendy was partially sedated, she kept asking if she could hold his hand. He thought that was cute, and he told me that he let her know, “Your husband will be here soon and you can hold his hand all you want.” We laughed. Wendy told me later that he misunderstood. Actually, her hands were cold and she was uncomfortable. She wanted to hold anyone’s hand.

You can imagine: Wendy is uncomfortable. I wasn’t allowed in the operating area, but I’m so glad I’m here now. She feels comfortable asking things of me that she wouldn’t the most polite RN or CNA. “The coffee’s too hot,” “I need a cold wash cloth,” “Could I get a pillow under my leg?” etc. She may get a little irritated or snappy, but I don’t care. And she knows I don’t care. We’ve gone through umpteen deliveries together, for crying out loud. We love each other, and it is good to be here together.

There have been many of those appreciative husband-and-wife moments. I’m thankful that things are going as planned; she’s thankful I’m there to help her out. She did this exact same thing in October when I had mycarditis. I was weak and uncomfortable as my heart was struggling to recover, and I needed my dearest love at my side. Just holding hands was often the perfect remedy.

How do others do it without a soulmate? This wing is filled with patients in similar circumstances (lung and heart surgery are common on this floor). Few relatives or roommates are around. The patients are getting fantastic help – this hospital proudly boasts itself as one of the top 50 hospitals in the nation – but even the best aid doesn’t compare to a loved one at your side.

Genesis 2:18 comes to mind: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” God was on a role at that moment of creation, and he figured out the perfect solution. Having no one is a great deficit. Bringing one alongside another is very good, and it is especially evident in times of need.

Please keep Wendy in your prayers. We are hoping she’s feeling strong enough to go home today. I’ll keep you posted!

About Chris Jeub

Chris is the father of 16 children, busily running the family businesses and learning the depths of love along the way.

  • Nicole

    all my best wishes for Wendy!
    I know why relatives are not around… they are working!
    My husband was so tired, the journey to the hospital was so long (over an hour) that I asked him not to come before the WE… when he hadn’t been at work for around ten hours!
    But when he was only 30 minutes away (the two first weeks out of 13 weeks)) he was there every evening, taking care of me, washing me and my hair…
    Wendy is lucky to be able to have you around!!!!

  • Janetkiessling

    Thats what Best Friends are for!!!! To Love Honor & Cherish……in Sickness & in Health!!!!…:) We can read each other before it happens. When my hubbie had a knee surgery…he’s a physical therapist & he wanted an epidural so he could hear what was going on. Well, afterwards it took ALONG time for the old legs to come back. And he was a bit snappy – it had been over 6 hours & his back was killing him. Even the nurses were very grouchy @ him – which did not help! Finally, a nurse pulled me aside & asked “How on earth can you stay married to a man like that?”…..I looked at her in amazament and said “He’s my husband & best friend & I love him & he hurting….if you were in this situation like this – how would you be? May I take him home now?”
    Then – There was a time when it was my turn for the knee surgery – & I wanted to try the epidural – because it takes me FOREVER to wake up from surgeries. But I guess it did not take. I woke up from surgery crying. Everybody is running around wonder what was wrong – they bring my husband back – he looks a me w/o talking to each other – he says “She’s crying because the epidural did not work!”
    And as for leaving a family member there all alone – I am with you there!!
    Well, sorry for the long stories…….we are still praying for you all!!! Keep holding hands & being her voice………….:0)
    Blessings – The Kiessling family

  • Elizabeth

    I am now alone. I’ve been through more cancer surgeries than I can remember over the past 9 years plus hospitalized in ICU critically ill. I’m actually the type who doesn’t want anyone around when I’m sick. Surgeons are always surprised no one is waiting in the waiting room, but it’s my choice. I do have adult children who would be there if I asked.

    Glad Wendy is doing OK. Yes, chest tubes are really uncomfortable, hope it’s out soon.

  • Angela Beltran

    Wendy and Chris I am very sorry that another bump has come in your road. Please know that their are a lot of people pulling for your family. Even though we have never met I know I can always count on you for great advice. Please take care of yourself and know that my small family of 11 will be praying for you. May God Bless you steps to recovery.

  • Ninabi

    I am glad you have each other and Wendy feels better soon- it is always, always good when someone who loves you is there to help you out when you aren’t feeling good.
    The sweet Paul McCartney song, This Never Happened Before  has the lyrics, “This is how is should be for lovers, they shouldn’t go it alone”.  I think it is true for my husband and me and it truly applies to you and Wendy as well.

  • Bea76

    I’m glad you get to be there with Wendy and I am sure your presence is helping her heal faster.  As to your question about soulmates, it really seems like your question is how do people do it without someone there.  My husband and I are absolute true soulmates but when I was in the hospital for 4 days he had 4 kids to take care of and a job with no vacation left so I made do.  All the family was out of town and he could only pawn a kid or two off to friends at a time so his time at the hospital was about an hour or two a day.  Honestly it means being super, super nice to the nurses, aides, etc because then they will do extra things for you when they have a chance and having wonderful friends that can bring the necessities to you.  Its not the perfect world scenario but you can make it work if you have to.  Than again I am also one to take my care into my own hands so after seeing how the nurses turned off the stupid alarms on my IVs I started turning them off myself when they went off instead of waiting what seemed like an hour for them to come.  They didn’t like that I turned off the alarms but I didn’t care.  Who can rest with that thing going off every hour? 😉 

    Get Better Wendy!!

  • Tammie Page Ewert

    I want so bad to come help or do something. We love you Wendy and are praying for you, to heal and recover in the fastest and easiest way possible. I am sad because you dont feel well .. you have been a great friend to me and such an encouraging person to so many. I know what it is like to have medical issues and feel bad alot of times and know with your spirit you will pull through and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow faster than anyone I know. Thank you Chirs for being Wendy’s soul mate. I think it is truly awesome to have one they are far and few between !

    Blessings, The Ewert family.

  • Tammie Page Ewert

    *How nice of me to mispell your name CHRIS… sorry ’bout that !

  • Beth Yenca

    In had no idea.  Praying for a quick recovery Wendy.  Praying for strength for Chris as you take care of your wonderful wife.  

  • Jennifer Mull

    So sorry that Wendy has had to go through this, but glad to hear that she has come through it well. The Jeubs have had a rough year, medically speaking. I hope that you will all get a break from medical emergencies and illnesses. I am so glad Wendy has you there, Chris. Not all men would be glad to care for their wives. You’re a good man, Chris Jeub!

    • Wendy Jeub

       Thanks Jennifer! Chris Jeub truly is a wonderful man. I am so blessed to have him.

      • Chris Jeub

        Awww, shucks.

  • Tiffany Stuart

    Wow, I didn’t know Wendy had surgery. I am thankful for FB to be able to read this update and to now add my prayers. Hug her for me. Thanks, Tiffany

    • Wendy Jeub

       Thank you for the cyber hug Tiffany.

  • tupperwarelisatn

    I am praying for Wendy. I hope she heals quickly.

  • Janelle

    What a sweet story. It’s so true…it’s amazing the comfort that a soulmate brings. Praise God for creating such a wonderful unity.  I’m also praying for Wendy’s recovery…it must be so hard for her to be incapacitated.  Keep up the good work of taking such great care of her.

  • Marie

    Praying for a quick recovery!  Keep holding her hand!  And I know that when you can’t be there, there are many others that can be there.  Awwww…. the blessings of so much love!

  • The Asbell Family

    I missed this while I was dealing with my own medical situation. I am sorry to read Wendy had the tumor, but am praising the Lord it was successfully removed. Our family will be praying along with everyone else for a speedy recovery.

  • ~kjl

    Just catching up on the “drama” now.  Glad surgery went well, and Wendy is in the process of recovering.  Praying all continues to go well.


  • Tina Drohan

    Many prayers your way. So sorry to hear about you.
    The Drohans

  • Heather McKenzie Carter

    Oh Wow. Thats intense. Glad to read that Wendy is on the road to recovery. I don’t know how people go for more then a few short days without their soulmates. With the delivery of my last- my husband had to go home for about 18 hours to care for the other 7 at home and I felt so lost without him.

  • steve martin

    What a sweet story………..and tell Wendi that she needs to take care and rest!

  • gilora

    Best wishes for Wendy’s speedy recovery. 

  • Jen

    I was just thinking about this last week.  Although my husband and I have had many difficult times in our marriage, I can totally see the beauty in the longevity of a relationship like this.  We are now in our middle 40’s, and we were married when we were 20.  We have had more years on this earth together than we have apart.  While we were at a doctor’s appointment last week for some minor medical issues that my husband is dealing with, as the doctor asked him questions about his medical history, there were answers that he didn’t remember, or think of.  So, I piped up with information that was critical to dealing with him problems.  I was just in awe of this plan of marriage that God has for us.  Even though there have seriously been times in our marriage where things were bad enough that I honestly thought I could care less if I were married to him or not (although I know that I would have never divorced him), I KNOW that God has and will bless us greatly through our staying together. I also saw this between my mom and dad.  At one point in my mom and dad’s marriage, my mom talked of leaving my dad.  Well, she never did.  I watched, after years and years of marriage, how my mom nursed my dad at his bedside before he died of an extended illness.  How different it would have been had they thrown in the towel years earlier!  Praise God!  My mom now has fond memories of my dad and speaks of him as if he were perfect!  I’m guessing she doesn’t even remember the thoughts that she had of leaving him many years ago.  Well anyway, I wrote a lot, but it is true.  God has given us the beautiful gift of marriage, and it is beautiful- even when it’s not perfect, and even when it’s really far from perfect!!

    • Wendy Jeub

       Jen, You are so right! Your comments confirm my post for today. Thank you.

  • Helen

    My husband and I have been together for nearly 33 years and I wholeheartedly endorse what you have said. We have 5 lovely grown up children and have weathered many storms including periods of unemployment, one daughter’s eating disorder, my post natal depression, and DH’s mental illness caused by extreme work-related stress. We still have a strong relationship despite these trials. There is nobody I would rather have at my side.

    I am so happy that Wendy’s operation went well and I wish her a speedy recovery.