Apr
11
2012

The Rare Ingredient to a Happy Life

We had a joyous and happy Passover celebration last week. Yes, we really are this happy.

There are some who simply don’t believe us when we say, “We are extremely happy in life.” We’re frugal, poor, hard workers – but we have love in the house, so we’re happy. Some suspect we’re up to something, hiding our real side, that we’re not as lovey-dovey as we say.

Our life is about as real on this blog as it is in our home. We strive to be as transparent as possible. We don’t ever want to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, staying as far away from hypocrisy as we can be. Honesty is a virtue in our lives, and if you ever have the opportunity to hang out with us, you’ll see that we are ourselves.

Is honesty such a rare thing in family life today? Perhaps dishonesty is common, causing some to be suspicious of us. It is a shame to find someone faking their happiness or pretending to be something they are not. Ironically, we suspect those who are most suspicious of our honesty are those who aren’t honest themselves. Or at least was raised in a family that was happy on the outside yet hurting on the inside.

We meditated on this the other night and made this conclusion:

Living an honest life is the only life worth living. [Tweet this!]

It’s shocking to hear otherwise. Example: hearing of divorce. We cannot count the number of times we’re shocked to hear of a couple breaking up. The awful reality is that we had been told for years that everything was hunky-dory and awesome. The reality is bologna. To be frank, these couples were faking it. And by the time we found out about it, the marriage was gone. (Read this blog post for more on this problem, and hope for marriages like these.)

Compare this with the life of honesty. We’re not claiming the honest life is perfect. We post a lot about our trials and struggles in life, and our books go really deep into them. The happy life doesn’t mean we’re free from troubles, and claiming it as so would be, well, dishonest.

Happiness means being right with life. Right with ourselves, with others, and with God. Being real. We cannot have it any other way. Neither should you. Seek honesty and you’ll find the rare ingredient to a happy life.

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

  • Jennifer Slemmer

    You are right – the ‘good marriage’ they porported was BOLOGNA!!! I am struggling to maintain friendships with those around me who refuse to come clean about their struggles – they must maintain that everything is FINE! and GREAT! and, “Oh, we have struggles, but doesnt everyone???” as a minimization of their pain. Yes, my struggles are ‘larger’ than some, but they are real and painful and bear exposure. Wounds and injury and infection (so-to-speak) cannot heal under a pretty bandage – they must be opened up, cleaned out, and monitored for healing, or lack of, in order to be healed. Honesty TRULY is the best policy and in times when I have taken a deep breath and let it fly, I have more often than not been rewarded with acceptance. And as an added blessing, I often end up getting the opportunity to share my healing with someone else… the ultimate joy in suffering.

    I have been a lurker for a while on your blog – but a supportive one! :) Blessings to you!

  • SBS343

    “We strive to be as transparent as possible. We don’t ever want to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, staying as far away from hypocrisy as we can be. ”
    That’s great. Can you tell us why you don’t answer questions (or even mention) your two oldest, who have chosen a different path than yours? It seems like they are being excluded from the family. Their pictures don’t even appear on this blog. Thank you for your honesty.

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com/ Chris Jeub

      We do talk about them, especially in our books. Trolls like yourself seem to be stuck in 2006 and want to resurrect old, disgruntled topics that our family has long left behind. Being honest doesn’t mean drudging in the past. It means being honest with the frustrations and difficulties in life, then moving on. Wendy and I are most transparent about that.

  • Carolina555

    “To be frank,these couples were faking it.”

    Maybe they were just trying. Trying to make their marriage work, trying to be happy. You know, fake it till you make it. Did you want them to go around like miserable grumps? Would that have helped their kids or their marriage?

    And, frankly, people have the right to choose whom they share with. Your friends may not have wanted to share their troubles with you.That is their right.

    • http://www.jeubfamily.com/ Chris Jeub

      You may be right. Fair point.

  • Janetkiessling

    Awesome – again! Honesty is the only policy & should be!!! Love & Happiness is the only way to be & go! Hugs to all!! Blessings – From The Kiessling Family..<

  • Salamander99

    Like I’ve said before I think people are either Happy or they are not.  I think your point on living honestly is a good one and perhaps poignant.  We can all ask ourselves.. are we honest or no?  Are we happy or no?  I good marriage can make someone happy.. Or an unhappy person can ruin an otherwise good marriage.   Just my .02

  • Bea76

    I think some people do try to “put on a show” of happiness in regards to their marriage.  Some do it for valid reasons, some do it for non-valid reasons. The thing is I relate to not saying anything.  My marriage is more than sound but we have a child with a genetic condition that requires a lot of medical care/intervention.  Even with our close friends we don’t talk about it that much because no one, even the people who love us most, want to hear about it all the time and frankly it consumes most of our time.  Even when our child is doing well we are always working out insurance issues, determining coverage for therapy or devices, etc.  If we talked about it all the time it would be like the boy who cried wolf.  When we really needed prayers, people would be over us.  We only mention the big stuff and it seems to be a good balance with those around us.  I have found that the people who want us to talk about the medical problems want to try to sell us a “miracle” cure and take our money.  The people may bring it up with good intentions but our child is missing part of a gene, no vitamin or supplement will fix that.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BZXHT7XDXDDSOBCWGPTUGYGV5Q Elizabeth

    I do think none of us can know what goes on behind closed doors, which is why the news of some divorces shock us so much. Sometimes one of the parties is blindsided, learning his/her spouse has had a secret life, completely unknown to them.

    FWIW, I’ve always felt your family seems genuinely happy. I can’t say the same about some of the other well known large families.

    I agree living an honest life is the only way to live. As Judge Judy says when you tell the truth you don’t have to remember what lies you’ve told. And it seems like one lie leads to another and on and on, and pretty soon you don’t know what the truth was.

  • Sheila (UK)

    Honesty and contentment are the keys to happiness.
    To be honest is essential to our wellbeing. Living a lie can only be detrimental to us. We need to be honest with God, ourselves and those around us.
     Contentment is also a key to happiness. Accepting God’s will for our lives will stop us envying others and striving endlessly to keep up with other people. Yes we will still have trials and difficult situations to deal with but knowing that God will work things out can stop us worrying.
    I have always admired your honesty as a family both on this site and in your books. I think those who question it are probably dishonest and discontented with their own lives.

  • peter morrison

    No matter in what situation we are whether rich or poor, if we love each other in a family we are really happy. Thanks for sharing such an excellent though.
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